Because of You
by Blue Seidr
Summary: AU Leo used to happy, living in a wonderful moment. But then that moment ended. Now, Leo is a meek, skittish turtle cloaked in a mysterious sadness. After a strange reaction to a song, his brothers finally decide it's time to investigate again. Leo has a secret he's kept for years, hidden behind his walls. Now, his walls are about to come crashing down, and his secret is coming out
1. Chapter 1

**Katana: Hello! I felt like torturing Leo again, so I came up with this first chapter of a two or threeshot, not sure which.**

**Leo: Well, thanks. -_-'**

**Katana: Sorry Leo, but you know I go wherever the plot bunnies take me.**

**Leo: Which, lately, have been cells, separation from my brothers, depressing fics, -**

**Katana: Noted. Don't care. Doing it anyway. Anyway, to the readers, enjoy.**

Because of You

If Donnie had to say when exactly it was that Leo started acting odd (well, odder), he probably would have said that Saturday night. No, strike that. He definitely would have said that Saturday night.

It wasn't an exceptionally unordinary night. True, Leo was actually sitting with them in the pit, which was a rare occurrence. But other than that, it was a rather ordinary night. No monsters to fight, no Kraang or Foot plots to foil, no late night training, not even for Leo. Leo was actually sitting with them instead of training in the dojo. Yes, he was silent, curled up on himself on his beanbag, but that wasn't unusual for him, and no one else was talking anyway. The brothers were simply relaxing in the pit, listening to Pandora on Donnie's laptop, letting the night tick by.

All was quiet except for the steady stream of music pounding from Don's speakers. It was peaceful in the Lair, which, come to think of it, was strange. But for all intents and purposes, it was an ordinary night.

Then it happened. The moment Leo started acting odd, and the moment the walls Leo had built so high began to crack.

The song on Pandora had just ended, and the computer began processing. It stopped loading, and a piano melody filled the air, followed by a woman's voice, half-humming some hauntingly sad notes.

"Ugh, no! Skip it, Don!" Raph shouted across the room.

Donnie leaned forward and tried to skip the song, but got less than satisfying results.

"Can't. We're out of skips." Raph and Mikey groaned. Leo just listened.

Then the lyrics started, and the transformation that came over Leo was terrifying.

Donnie didn't notice anything odd at first. But then, as the the song progressed, he heard a funny, rasping sound. Confused, he looked around, searching for the source of that awful noise. Then, he found it. His older brother, Leonardo. To Donnie's immense surprise and shock, Leo had curled up even tighter, hugging his legs, bowing his head. His breath was coming out in quick, forced gasps, and his whole body was trembling. "

Leo?" He asked, concerned. He paused the music. Leo froze, stiff as a board. He sat still for a total of 5 seconds, then looked up, a frightened look in his eyes.

"Yeah?" He whispered.

"Are you okay?" Donnie frowned. Leo's eyes, if possible, grew wider in fear.

"I'm fine." He whispered softly, so softly Donnie just barely heard him. By now, Raph and Mikey had snapped out of their own la-la-lands and were staring at Leo as well.

"You sure, bro?" Mikey asked. "You look . . . Upset."

"It was just . . . " Leo's small voice got even smaller and trailed off.

"Just what?" Raph asked, a forced edge in his voice.

"The song." Leo breathed. "It reminded me."

"Reminded you?" Donnie puzzled. "Reminded you of what?" But Leo simply shook his head, and refused to say another word for the rest of the night.

* * *

When Mikey sat down to think, which wasn't very often, because his mind was always racing off down several different paths at once, never truly following one all the way before leaving it or acting on it, Mikey thought that this might be because he might have ADHD, and . . .

Ahem. Point made. Anyway, back to the original topic, when Mikey actually put effort into it and thought about, he thought that there might be something wrong with his big brother Leonardo.

Mikey remembered a time, back when they were really, really, really little, that Leo wasn't so quiet or meek or anti-social. He wasn't super-hyper, like Mikey and Raph had been and, well, still were, but he was fun and giggly and loud and always playing with them. Then one day, when they were still small children, he just . . . stopped. One day, he just stopped talking and when they could get him to speak, it would be in this tiny little whisper. As they grew older, bigger, and taller, Leo seemed to grow smaller. He was silent and seem to carry this burden, one that cloaked him in sadness that radiated from him, and when Mikey looked him in the eyes, Leo looked like he was drowning in something. What that was, Mikey didn't know.

He remembered, when the behavior started, they had tried to figure it out. Where had the happiness in Leo gone? They never found out, and now, they simply took meek little Leo for granted.

Except . . . Except for that one time.

They had all been shocked when Master Splinter had named Leo leader. Leo, that brother that would just stare at you like he could see right through you. Even after he had been named leader, Leo didn't change, and sounded so unsure when telling the others what they were doing, which wasn't often. But one night, they were on patrol, and were ambushed by Kraang. Suddenly, that turtle that was so hesitant when asking anyone to do anything was gone, and in his place was a warrior. The warrior barked orders with confidence and authority, and the brothers listened. There was nothing unsure about the warriors strikes and swings. The warrior knew exactly what to do, and because of the warrior, they all made it out without so much as a scratch. Then, when the dust of battle cleared, the warrior was gone, and the silent turtle was back.

Mikey never truly saw the warrior again; things were quiet on patrol since that night. But, in the dojo, he sometimes caught glimpses of him when Leo did his katas.

When Mikey sat down and thought about it, he knew in his heart that something had happened to Leo. No one goes from perky child to near-mute teen for no reason. Leo's reaction to that song on Pandora was the final straw. Mikey was going to figure out what was wrong with his big brother, no matter how high or thick the walls around him were.

* * *

Raph did not understand his only older brother. At all.

First things first, Raph rarely saw the dude. Leo was almost always in the dojo, either with Master Splinter doing who knows what, or by himself practicing katas over and over and over again. When he did see Leo, Leo rarely spoke to him, just looked at him with sorrowful sapphire blue eyes. And when Leo, miracles of miracles, actually spoke to him, it was in a quiet, uncertain whisper that Raph, even with his ninja senses, had to strain to hear.

Leo almost never relaxed, Saturday night being a once in a blue moon event. He almost never spoke, and almost never interacted with them. He was skittish, cautious, and always flinching. He would sit in one spot for hours if let there, and would stare blankly ahead, deep in thought. Only inside the dojo was Leo any different. He was more confident with his movements, and never doubted his instincts. Yet, at the same time, he seemed even more uncomfortable, on edge, almost.

Some people were an open book. Leo was a padlocked diary in a safe in a bank vault in a bank surrounded by 15-foot high walls in the Alps. Hard to see, impossible to read.

That Saturday night, when Raph saw Leo shaking in fear, FEAR, all because of a song on Pandora, it scared Raph. All at once, the peculiarity of Leo's daily behavior hit him. It wasn't normal, being as silent and sad and weary as Leo was. He acted like, like something had happened to him. He acted like he had a huge burden on him, a secret that he couldn't tell no matter what. Something was wrong with Leo. With Raph's big brother. There was something horrible in Leo's book, and it was time Raph broke in and read it.

* * *

April O'Neil was not with the turtles that Saturday night, but it just so happened she was thinking about them. One particular turtle more than the rest.

She had only known the turtles for a couple of weeks, and remembered her first good look at them.

Identical men in suits had come for her and her father, and flashes of green and red and blue and purple and orange had come to fight them. Then she was being carried, then flying up, then falling down. Strong, gentle arms had caught her, and the strangest face she had ever seen was smiling down on her. She was ashamed to say she had screamed, and the face screamed back, dropping her and becoming a whole body. The thing held out a hand, but before she could take it, something happened in more flashes, and she was in the back of the kidnappers van with her father.

Then, the thing found her in that cell. The thing from before had ran past the cell, then backtracked and peeked inside.

"We found her!" It said. From the voice, April had guessed it was a he. Then she heard the sound of lasers. Another thing, this one wearing blue, entered her vision.

"Donnie, can you pick the lock?" The blue one asked softly.

"Of course I can." The other one (wearing purple), who she guessed was Donnie, said.

"Then we'll keep them busy. Pick the lock." The blue one said quietly before disappearing. Donnie ducked and began fiddling with a control panel. The rest was history.

Now, April thought of the turtle in blue, Leonardo. He was . . . Strange, even for a teenage mutant ninja turtle. He was the leader, but he was so darn quiet. April doubted he had spoken more than ten words to her. He seemed wary of her, more than the others. He seemed to have a barrier around him, and was determined not to let anyone in. April had been to the Lair only once so far, and Leonardo had been in the dojo the entire time with their "Master Splinter", whom she still had yet to meet.

She was taking psychology this semester, and Leo seemed to be exhibiting some alarming signs. April may have just barely met him, but she sensed there was something going on with Leonardo.

* * *

Leo knew. He knew how he acted wasn't normal, not normal at all. He knew it probably wasn't healthy. He knew, and he didn't care. He was this way for a reason, and nothing he or his brothers did or said would change it, so Leo didn't care. Besides, the situation he was in, how he lived? It wasn't normal either.

Leo remembered being different. He remembered a time when he didn't have to report to the dojo every day. He remembered a time when his master's mind was whole and his master cared for him all the time, not just in front of his brothers. He remembered a time when he could laugh, when he could cry in company without being slapped, when he could speak without fear. He remembered, but just barely. It had been a long, long time.

It was a mistake. He shouldn't have reacted that way to the song. His brothers noticed, and were now bound to watch him closely for at least a few weeks, at least. It would get harder to hide it, but he would. He had to. If he didn't take his treatment, if his brothers learned of what he went through every day . . . They might be next, and become just like him.

It was a mistake, but he couldn't help it. The song . . . It just screamed his life, reflected Leo's situation and feelings perfectly. It overwhelmed him, hearing his very soul in a song, and it reminded him of his lessons. It scared him.

He needed to hear it again, though. He needed to hear his life, hear who was to blame. He needed to hear his soul.

**So if anyone's interested in me continuing this, leave a review, and I'll continue/finish this when I can.**

**Have a good weekend,**

**Katana**


	2. Chapter 2

**Katana: Whoa! Thirteen reviews! I can't believe it! Thank you all so much!**

**Leo: Seriously? Y'all enjoyed me being a meek, little, half mute turtle?**

**Katana: Um . . . Yes?**

**Leo: *shakes head* I am nothing like that. Nothing. What the Heck did you do to me?**

**Katana: Oh, I *spoiler spoiler spoiler***

**Leo: What?**

**Katana: *spoiler spoiler spoiler***

**Leo: Huh?**

**Katana: Oh, just read!**

Because of You

_MIKEY_

Mikey stretched as he rolled out of bed onto his feet and yawned. He smacked his lips dramatically and glanced sleepy at the clock. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw what time it was. 11:43 am. That was late, even for him, the king of sleeping in. It must have been a late night. Mikey thought back, and then remembered what had happened. _Leo. _

There was something wrong with Leo and Mikey was going to figure it out and help him, even if it took him the rest of his life.

The only question was, how to do that?

The obvious answer would be to go to Leo and ask him. The obvious_ problem_ was that Leo would just be his silent self and close up even more. So that was out.

Think. Where did he go when something was wrong?

Donnie! He always went to Donnie when something was broken or when he was feeling bad. Donnie was a genius. He'd know how to help Leo.

With his goal in mind, Mikey trooped out of his room and into the kitchen for breakfast.

After a bowl of cereal, Mikey cleaned up and went to his older brother's lab. As he'd suspected, Donnie was there, typing away at his computer. The purple banded turtle was deep in concentration, his tongue sticking slightly out of his mouth as he typed at light speed. From his angle, Mikey couldn't tell what Donnie was working on, but it seemed important to the turtle. Mikey wouldn't interrupt, but what he wanted to talk about was important too.

"Donnie?" Mikey asked. Donnie didn't even flinch. "Donnie? DONNIE!" Mikey yelled.

"Yah!" Donnie screamed, jumping and falling out of his chair.

"Finally, dude. You were completely out of it."

"Well, sorry hacking into Kraang facilities takes concentration." Donnie said sarcastically, picking himself off the floor and back into his chair. "Whadda ya need, Mikey?"

"I was actually hoping you could help me with something." Mikey hedged.

"Like what?" Donnie said warily. He had been asked for favors from Mikey too many times not to be cautious.

"Well, i was wondering, about - about Leo."

All at once, Donnie's expression changed, from wary to surprised to serious. "Leo? Is this because of last night?"

Mikey nodded. "Yeah, kind of. Donnie, I'm worried about him. I've been thinking, and it's not - the way he acts - I don't -"

"I understand, Mike." Donnie smiled ruefully at him. Truth be told, he was worried too. Ever since the incident, Donnie had been unable to get Leo out of his mind, and was realizing that the way Leo behaved wasn't normal. It wasn't merely his personality, this was so much deeper. Leo almost seemed depressed, and Donnie was cursing himself for not seeing how much his brother seemed to be suffering from something before. Leo's behavior was nothing new, and he hadn't thought twice about it. But now, all he could do was think about.

"Donnie, he just looks so _sad._ He's always tense, and he's so fidgety, and he shys away from us all the time. He acts like he's _scared__._" As Mikey said it, he realized, fully realized, it was true, and he too begun scolding himself for not seeing something wrong sooner. "And we haven't even noticed."

"We have, we just never thought about it." A new voice said, and Donnie and Mikey turned to see Raph standing behind them. Raph walked to Donnie's desk and joined them. "We noticed, we just didn't do anything about it."

"We're - we're horrible brothers." Mikey choked, tears shining in his eyes. "What if - what if there's something - I don't know, something wrong with him or - or something bothering him, and we never even said anything to him?"

"We did, though." Donnie whispered, not defensively, but in a pondering manner. "Remember? When we were little and he first started acting like this. We pestered him for days, asking what was wrong, why he was sad, and kept trying to cheer him up. We couldn't, though."

"And we just let it go." Raph said slowly, remembering those days so many years ago. "We stopped prying at him, and just got used to it."

"That's no excuse!" Mikey stamped his foot childishly. "We should have kept trying, at least a little, or at the very, very least realized that something was wrong. But we didn't!"

Mikey's words rang true, and weighed heavily on the other two turtles as well. It was true. This had been going on for years, and they had done nothing about it. Sure, they tried when it first started, but they gave up. They gave up on their big brother, and let him suffer with whatever it was for all this time. They gave up.

"That's it." Raph said. "No more. We're not gonna let this go on for a minute longer. I say we go into the dojo, get Leo out of there, and lock us all in a room until we get some answers." He stated boldly.

Mikey was nodding, a grin taking the place of his tears, but Donnie frowned. "Hold on Raph. That may not be such a good idea."

"Why not?" Raph protested. Mikey frowned as well.

"We have no idea what Leo's dealing with or going through. If we push him or do something drastic, it could lead to more harm than good." Donnie lectured. "Basic psychology, guys. We can't rush it or push him too hard. We need to make him feel safe, like he can talk about - about - about whatever it is. AND we need to find out what we're dealing with."

"How?" Mikey whined. This wasn't what he wanted. He wanted to make Leo better _now._ Leo looked so sad, and Mikey couldn't remember the last time he had seen Leo smile. He wanted to see Leo smile, right away.

"Well, the internet should help a bit. If we can put Leo's symptoms in a search engine, maybe we'll get lucky. Or, April's taking psychology. I can ask to borrow her textbook, see if I can find a condition that matches Leo."

"Any theories you wanna share, brainiac? You seem to think Leo's got a mental condition." Raph barked.

"Raph, Leo - he - he seems depressed, or like he has PTSD, or more likely both, as depression is a symptom of PTSD. He's quiet, sorrowful, spends long periods of time thinking, has low self-esteem, doesn't really eat much - haven't you noticed how skinny he is? - and looks likes he's hurting. It's been a long time since I've read anything on depression and PTSD, but I think that it sounds a lot like Leo."

"You sure?" Raph.

"Not completely. I'll need to consult the web, and April's book just to be safe. And if Leo _does_ have PTSD and depression, then we have a problem. PTSD is caused by an event. Leo could be acting the way he does because something happened to him."

"Like what?" Mikey questioned.

Donnie shrugged. "PTSD means Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It simply means that something traumatic happened, and the victim is suffering because of it."

"What could have happened to Leo, when we were that little?" Mikey asked, puzzled.

None of them had an answer.

* * *

_LEO_

Leo hopped out of bed bright and early Sunday morning. A look at the clock showed the numbers 5:30, same as every morning. Leo was never late. He didn't dare be.

Leo immediately rushed straight to the dojo, taking no detours for any reason. Master Splinter was waiting for him, a familiar scowl on his snout. Leo bowed, then knelt on his knees and bowed again, this time not looking back up. He squeezed his eyes shut tight and listened to the bark of his master as the training for the first part of the morning was assigned. When his master finished with his customary title for Leo, Leo rose and bowed sharply again, not looking his master in the eye, not saying a word.

He took his starting position, and began the first kata. He completed it with ease, and moved on to the next one, which was finished quickly, and then the next one. On and on Leo went, his moves growing ever more difficult and complicated, each one preformed perfectly. Master Splinter watched with critical eyes, taking in every aspect of Leo's form, offering no distraction to break Leo's concentration.

It was around 7:15 when Leo made his first mistake. His foot wasn't quite where it should have been, too far from his other foot. This point was made as a swift kick swept Leo's leg out from under him and he landed flat on his shell. From there, several more kicks to the side were made, aimed at the soft area where Leo's shell was most flexible (allowing him to preform the moves he did). Leo bit his lip and held back a groan. Groans were complaints, and complaining was weakness. Leo could not show weakness. He could not have weakness, or else he wouldn't be able to lead his brothers.

"Up!" A scratchy voice hissed in the air. Leo complied, leaping to his feet and ignoring the impulse to grab at his side. No weakness.

"Again! 20 times." Leo bowed and preformed the kata with the correction again and again. Nothing was found wrong this time, and Leo was told to move on to the next kata.

Leo preformed five more katas before his next mistake. A hand not as close to his side as it should have been. A five-fingered hand shot out and immediately flipped Leo over. Leo landed on his plastron, and all the wind was knocked out of him. His head hit the floor with a painful knock, and air hissed through Leo's teeth. Before he had a chance to recover, a yank on his mask tassels pulled him into a standing position on his knees. Leo gasped, his lungs trying to regain precious air.

"Are you hurt, Kame?" A mocking voice asked.

"No, Master." Leo croaked. The hand let go of his tassels, and Leo caught himself before his chest and head could hit the ground again.

"Then again, 15 times, and twenty flips." Leo rose to his feet and redid the kata again the requested time, and then did the twenty flips. Not normally a hard task, but after 2 1/2 hours of non-stop vigorous workout, Leo was beginning to feel the effects of exhaustion, and the blow to the head he received when flipped wasn't helping matters, making Leo feel a bit dizzy. Nevertheless, Leo completed the task, and preformed his remaining katas perfectly.

The easy part of the training session was over. The time was 9:30.

The 2nd part of the training session was always the same. A no holds barred spar between Leo and his Master. The 2nd part of training always lasted an hour, no matter what. If Leo lost in a minute, then they went again and again until the hour was up.

Leo moved to the back of the dojo, and took up a stance. He had never won a spar with Master Splinter, and he never expected to. He never gained anything from these spars, besides bruises and the occasional sprained wrist or ankle. It was pointless, the only thing happening to Leo a beat down.

Master Splinter gestured, and Leo charged.

* * *

Finally, mercifully, the hour ended. Leo was allowed to use the bathroom for 3 minutes, and used to the time to drink some water, clean out new cuts as best he could, and shift his dojo wraps and joint pads to hide the worst of the bruises. His brothers wouldn't notice the change. They never did.

The knock to his head didn't look too bad. It was easily hidden by Leo's mask, and the headache was starting to fade. Leo thanked several deities for clearing away the dizziness. Dizziness meant his movements would be off, and anything but perfection meant more training, sparring, and cut-back food rations.

Just thinking about food made Leo's stomach growl. He hadn't had anything since dinner night before last, and that was a slice of pizza. Nothing very filling. He sighed, but seeing as he couldn't do anything about it, braced himself for the rest of his training.

He walked out of the bathroom and returned to the dojo. Master Splinter was waiting impatiently.

"You are late." Leo felt a twinge of annoyance (if he was, it was only by seconds) that was quickly swallowed by fear. He had been "dealt with" for being late before.

"I - I apologize, Master." He knelt on the floor. "I did not realize that my time was up."

"Get up, Kame." Splinter spat.

Leo stood, and hung his head. He heard a familiar sound and tensed. Oh, no. Oh, God, no. Not that. He wasn't even a minute late. But Master had always harbored a hatred for lateness. _Who can you be a ninja, and protect my sons, _he was fond of saying, _if you cannot even show up to practice on time?_

Today must have been a bad day, a day that had been significant to Hamato Yoshi. Those days, punishment and training were ten times worse. Those days, he was less likely to be allowed food. Those days, he was most likely to be locked in his room.

Leo didn't wait for his Master to speak. He unwound the dojo wraps on his arms and legs and let them crumble to the floor. He slipped off his pads as well, and stood in the position he had grown to fear. Legs apart, arms raised 90 degrees to his body. He closed his eyes and relaxed his muscles.

There was a familiar swish, and then the pain started.

* * *

_DONNIE_

Donnie texted April after his talk with the brothers, asking for the textbook. April replied immediately, saying she'd bring it over as soon as she could that day.

1:30 rolled around and April showed up at the Lair door. Donnie immediately welcomed her in and led her to his lab, hovering over her for a glimpse of the anticipated book.

April caught him at it, and the minute they were in his lab, she dug the textbook out of her bag and held it out to him.

"This what you want?"

"Yes! Thank you April!" He started to reach for it, but she pulled it back.

"Why do you want a psychology textbook, Donnie?" She asked.

"Oh, um, I just wanted to read it in case you need help in the class later."

April raised an eyebrow, then crossed her arms. "Okay, now tell me the truth." At his surprised expression, she added, "You're not a good lier, Donnie."

"I'm interested in it right now and I want to learn more. And I trust books more than the internet." Donnie told her.

April stared at him. "Now tell me the _whole _truth."

Donnie sighed. "I need information on certain disorders, alright?"

April's expression changed into one Donnie couldn't quite read. She handed over the book without a word and he smiled gratefully at her. He sat down at his desk and opened the book to dead center. It creaked and crackled as he did, and he shot April a smirk.

"I can really tell you've been using this." He joked.

"Hey, I've only had the class for a week and I've been working out of the front!" April retorted indignantly.

"Just teasing April." Donnie smiled.

"I know." She smiled back. "If you're gonna read that, where are the others?"

"Raph and Mikey are in the pit, and Leo's in the dojo with Master Splinter."

"Again." April said flatly.

"Leo loves to train, and he gets extra anyway because he's leader. Training is pretty much all he does." Donnie said absently, already flipping through pages of the textbook.

"Yeah . . . " April trailed off, not sounding very satisfied.

Donnie looked up, hearing the tone in her voice. He checked the clock. "Look, if you want to see Leo so badly, he's usually done around 2:30."

"Okay. Thanks Donnie."

"No problem." He waved, and April took that as her cue to leave and see the others.

* * *

_APRIL_

April sat on the benches that ran around inside the perimeter of the pit area. She stared at the television along with Mikey, but she sensed that Mikey wasn't really paying attention to the show. They were even. She wasn't either. Instead, her thoughts were once again on Leonardo.

What were the odds, that both times she went to the Lair, Leo was training? Especially when they were at two different times of the day. Donnie said Leo trained pretty much all the time. Just how much truth was in that statement?

April remembered her thoughts on Leo just last night. She had sensed that something was wrong with him, something mental. It was true, she had only been in psychology a week, but she had been in the class and around Leo long enough to notice something was up. Leo's behavior to her had been beyond usual shyness or wariness. He seemed, she didn't know, almost afraid to let her get close, almost actively repelling her. Part of that may have been living in the sewers with only his brothers for company. But Donnie, Mikey, and Raph didn't have that problem.

And now Donnie was asking for her psychology book, researching mental disorders. If that wasn't a red flag, April didn't know what was. Did Donnie and/or his brothers know what was wrong with Leo, and researching it? Or were they too searching for answers? Either way, Donnie obviously thought that the answer to Leo was in her book. What could be affecting Leo?

The TV she had been staring blankly at faded to black as the show ended, and the sudden change snapped her out of her thoughts.

The TV clock hit 2:30.

Suddenly, April got a weird feeling. She felt like her head was being squashed, like it was under pressure. Oddly, it didn't hurt. It just felt funny. Something inside her then told her to look at the space of hallway between the dojo and the area she was told the turtles rooms were. A sudden flash of green and blue surprised her, and she was flooded by emotions. Emotions she knew at once were not hers.

At first, all she could feel was pain. Lots and lots of pain. But soon, her own mind dug through the layers and uncovered other emotions. Anger, hurt, and humiliation were prominent, along with uselessness and timidity. But the most powerful emotions were overwhelming sadness, and fear. Raw, total fear.

The entire experience only lasted a split second, the length of time she saw the green and blue blur. Yet April had felt everything. She gasped and fell back against the back of the bench as the pressure on her head was released. Raph stopped punching his bag and looked up.

"You okay, April?" He asked, nonexistent eyebrows furrowing together.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." She said.

She could not say the same for Leo, for that was undoubtedly who the green and blue blur was. That peek into Leo's mind, for that had to be what had happened, had cleared away the fog surrounding Leonardo. Pieces were falling into place, forming a gruesome picture April desperately wished she wasn't seeing. For in that moment when April had touched Leo's mind, she had managed to catch a glimpse of a memory. A memory of Leo standing tall, as a sharp wooden practice sword came down again and again, slowly beating him to the floor.

* * *

_DONNIE_

Donnie flipped a page of April's book and sighed. It was as he'd feared. Leo's symptoms matched the symptoms of PTSD and depression in the book, almost to a T. He would double check and triple check online, but right now, the diagnosis was clear. Leo had PTSD. But still, Donnie felt like there was something missing.

An answer that raised more questions. How on Earth did Leo develop PTSD? What could have happened that had affected him so badly that it was haunting him even to this day?

Donnie flipped a section of pages on the textbook in frustration. The book opened to a random page, and a word in bold jumped out at him. Almost like he was possessed, Donnie immediately began to read the information. As he did, a sense of dread crept over him, and the further he got, the larger the feeling grew until it took up all his thoughts.

_No. No, no, no. No, this can't be right._ He told himself. _Can it?_

It all fit, though, in a horrible, twisted way. This was the missing piece, the one the brothers couldn't figure out. The book was describing Leo perfectly, right down to the skittish way he looked at people who had just approached him and his sad, haunted eyes.

This was it. This was the reason. This was what had happened to Leo.

_No! No, this can't be right! _He thought. Then, in a sudden burst of inspiration, he rolled his office chair over to his computer, slipped on his headphones, and Googled the song Leo had freaked out over. Donnie clicked a video and listened, really listened, to the actual lyrics, of the song. As the chorus played for the second time, Donnie couldn't deny it any longer. It was true. It was all true.

He paused the video and leaned back in his chair, feeling like he had just got hit by a ton of bricks. As he did, more memories of Leo poured into his mind, confirming the horrifying truth. Donnie's gaze slid to his desk, then to the book, staring horrified at the bolded heading.

_Abuse._

**Writing this was hard. Not emotional, I mean, but describing it in a sort of realistic way.**

**So, there you have it. Master Splinter abuses Leo. ****Not what some of you were expecting, was it? **

**Please review, the story isn't over yet, I have a couple more chapters to go before I end this. **

**Have a good day/night!**

**-Katana**


	3. Chapter 3

**Leo: What. The. Shell?**

**Katana: Uh-oh.**

**Leo: What the shell? What do you mean, I'm being abused by Splinter?! That is a lie! Why you - "**

**Katana: AHHH! *runs and hides behind Donnie* Donnie! Explain that this is an AU fic and completely noncanon and that I made this entire universe up and that he has no real reason to be upset with me?**

**Donnie: She's right, Leo. In a way.**

**Leo: Fine. Just - just get on with it. *stalks away***

**Katana: Whew! Thanks Donnie!**

**Donnie: So what is this about Splinter abusing my brother? *dangerously calm voice***

**Katana: *gulp* Um . . . Readers, enjoy! Thank you for the reviews, I enjoy each and every one of them! Now, pray I can sort this out with Donnie and Leo.**

Because of You

_DONNIE_

Donnie stared at the horrible, horrible word on the page in front of him. Just the shape of the letters, the way they looked on the page, made him feel sick to his stomach. He had heard of abuse before, of course, and it has always made him feel disgusted with the human race. How could someone do something like that to one of their own? How could someone tear a human being apart and destroy them, physically and mentally? Whenever it came up, Donnie felt a rare happiness at the fact he wasn't human.

He had never thought for even a nanosecond that one of his brothers would ever fall victim to abuse. Especially not his brother Leonardo.

But it all made sense. Everything. Leo was being abused, and had been ever since they were little kids.

A horrifying, sickening mental image of a toddler Leo being attacked by a faceless enemy forced its way into Donnie's mind. He bit his lip as he swallowed down bile and blinked back heavy tears. How could anyone abuse a _child?_ How could anyone even think of hurting Leo? He was so sweet, so trusting as a toddler. Donnie's memories of Leo from before were hazy, but he remembered how Leo was always thinking of them. Tucking them in at night, kissing their boo-boo's better, helping them every step of the way. He was both their brother and their mother, in a way.

Then . . . Donnie realized his mental image was wrong. Leo wasn't being abused by some faceless nobody; he couldn't be. No, he had to be abused by someone in the Lair, and the only candidate was -

A knock at the door forced Donnie out of his train of thought. Feeling both guilty and relieved at not following that thought to the end, he leapt up from his chair and practically ran to his lab door. He opened it to see April waiting. Rather impatiently, if her body language was any indication.

"Hey April." Donnie struggled to keep his voice sounding normal. It was close.

"We need to talk." April said, sounding upset. Donnie moved to free the doorway for her, but she held up her hand. "Privately."

Donnie swallowed nervously. "Oh-okay."

He gestured for her to follow him towards the entrance. "We're going for a walk!" He shouted in the general direction of the two present brothers. They both acknowledged him in their own ways, and Donnie lead April out of the Lair and into the sewers.

"Follow me." He said over his shoulder as they navigated the dark passages.

"Not planning on going off on my own." She said, and Donnie chuckled awkwardly.

They walked into the maze of tunnels for about five minutes before Donnie disappeared down a small tunnel, April close on his heels. On the other end of the tunnel was a small room full to the brim with pipes, gauges, cables, nozzles and ducts.

"What is this place?"

"Old pump room, or something similar. The place was covered with dust when I found it so it's safe." He explained, sitting down on a spot on the floor so he could see the door. "I never told anyone about it, so even if they come looking for us, they shouldn't be able to find us."

April nodded and sat down across from him, crossing her legs and arms in a self hug. All was silent, and Donnie waited patiently. Then April blurted it out.

"I had that feeling again."

That caught Donnie's attention. "The feeling you got with Dr. Rockwell?" He asked urgently.

"Sort of. It felt the same, but the results were . . . Different."

"Different? Different how? No, wait. Start at the beginning. Leave nothing out."

"I was in the pit, waiting for Leo to come out of the dojo, when that feeling came over me. It - it felt like I was underwater, sort of. You know, that feeling that your head's being squashed?" April explained uncertainly. At Donnie's nod, she continued.

"When I got the feeling, something told me to look at the area between the dojo and your bedrooms. I did, and I caught a glimpse of Leo racing to his room. And that's when . . . " She trailed off.

"When what?"

"When I - I think I went into Leo's mind."

Donnie flinched, his eyes going wide. "What?!"

"I - I felt things. Emotions, and even a memory that weren't mine." April sucked in her breath, hesitating, then plowed on. "And that's what I wanted to talk about. What I felt. What _Leo_ felt."

Donnie bit his lip. April had been in Leo's mind. This could be the conformation that - that Leo was being abused. _Or it could prove something else is going on! _A desperate voice inside of him cried. _But, would April be this upset looking if it were something else?_

"What did you feel?" He asked softly.

"At first, all - all I could feel was pain. Then I felt anger, and humiliation, and uselessness, and timidity, and hurt. But, the most - the most powerful emotions were sadness and fear. He was _afraid,_ Donnie. And he thought - he felt like he was worthless and - and - and I saw a memory!" April babbled, her voice getting louder and higher.

"He was just standing there, holding his a-arms up and his f-feet apart, a-and th-there w-was a pra-practice sword. I-it - h-he - he wa-was ge-getting b-beat with it!"

April was blubbering now, tears streaming down her face.

"He di-didn't fight ba-back, ju-ju-just let himself be be-beaten to the ground!"

April finally let her tears flow freely as the full impact of what she had seen hit her. Unsure of what to do, Donnie reached a hand out and pulled her into a tight hug. April immediately latched onto him and continued to cry into his chest. Normally, Donnie would be reveling in the close contact with his crush, but all he could think about was the scene April had described.

His brother had been beaten.

His brother had been beaten for who knows how long, who knows how many times, and he had never noticed.

His mental image from earlier came back, only with Leo looking like he did now, and the picture turned into a movie, a clip of their old wooden practice weapons bludgeoning Leo to the floor. Tears once again welled in his eyes, and he furiously blinked to clear his vision. Who could do that? Who could harm an innocent person, in the beginning an innocent _child, _in such a cruel, heartless way? Who could beat a gentle soul like Leonardo?

Once again, Donnie found himself on the train of thought known as "Who is the abuser?", and this time, he rode it to the end of the line.

Tears sprang up again in Donnie's eyes, too fast for him to suppress them. He let them leak out and drip down his cheeks, and because that release of all the emotion that had been building up inside him (so much, so quickly) had felt _sooo _good, he didn't stop the rest from flowing. He buried his head in April's fiery red hair, and began to cry as well.

April felt the tears in her own hair, and pulled back, tears staining her cheek. "Why are _you_ crying, Donnie?"

"I was right. I was right."

"Right about what? About Leo being beat? You knew?!" April cried furiously.

"For about a minute before you knocked on the door, and I didn't know for sure until just now."

April's gaze hardened. "Explain. Now."

So Donnie went over the way Leo had reacted to the song on Pandora, how he had been acting the way he had since they were little kids, how he, Mikey, and Raph had vowed that morning to figure out what was wrong with Leo, how he had read the PTSD section if the book, and, inadvertently, stumbled upon the real answer flipping through the book.

"I was in shock, and that's when you knocked on my door." Donnie said, tears slowly falling down his face. "I didn't have time to process it all until just now. And it - it just hit me. My big brother . . . My big brother is being abused, and he - he's being abused by the person who I thought of as my father until five minutes ago! He's been abused all this time, and we never even - even thought about it! Splinter is abusing Leo!" Donnie shouted painfully, tears falling faster and faster down his cheeks. This time it was April that held out the comforting hand, and Donnie that latched on for some pillar of support as his heart went through emotional turmoil, April who hugged tightly, and Donnie who sobbed his heart out in comforting arms.

* * *

_APRIL_

It was an eternity before Donnie let go of her and wiped his tears. He spent a good few minutes wiping his tears and sniffing, trying to get himself back under control.

He finally regained some control. "What am I going to do?" He whispered through a raspy throat.

"What are _we _going to do?" April corrected. If Donnie thought that she wasn't going to do everything in her power to help Leo, he was sadly mistaken.

To Donnie's credit, he looked up at her, but upon seeing the look of pure determination on her face, he swallowed any arguments he may have had.

"Okay, what are _we _going to do? I - I never - I don't know anything about abuse." Donnie admitted. "I have no idea what you do to help abuse victims."

"Then, maybe that's what you should do first. Learn. Use the internet, see what it says."

Donnie nodded. "Okay, but, I'd like a second opinion, from someone I know knows what they're talking about."

April thought for a second. "Well, I guess I could talk to my school psychiatrist." At Donnie's startled look, she rushed to explain. "I tell him I think that a friend of a friend is being abused, and I'm not sure what to do."

"Alright, that might work." Donnie sighed. A silence filled the air, one that hung heavy on April.

She had never met the turtle's "Master Splinter", but she hated him with all her heart. While she couldn't claim to know Leo very well, she knew that he was kind and gentle when not in battle. No one deserved to be abused, but especially not one like Leonardo.

_I will never let that rat come near Leo again._ April thought defiantly, very much aware that she wouldn't be any use in a fight, but still willing to do anything she could to get Leo out.

Her defiant vow prompted another thought. It wouldn't be enough to just help Leo with what he was going through. If they truly wanted the abuse to end . . .

"Donnie."

Donnie looked up, pulled away from his own thoughts. "Hmm?"

"You know, we can't just help Leo with what he's been through. It - it won't make a difference unless we get him far away from _Splinter._" She spat out the name, feeling dirty, like she had just cussed. "We need to get Leo far, far, far away from him."

"But where? Where could we go?" Donnie said helplessly. "We've only ever known the Lair. I can't think of anywhere that we could reasonably access without being discovered, that would be safe from humans, and that Splinter doesn't know about."

April bit her cheek. She hadn't thought about where they could go, only that they _should_ go.

"I'll think of something." April answered determinedly. She would. She would help Leo, whatever the cost.

"Thanks, April." Donnie smiled wanly. He proceeded to stand up and stretch, and April rose with him. "We need to head back. They'll come looking for us soon if we don't."

"Alright. Can - can we see Leo?" She asked timidly.

"If he lets us in." Donnie said grimly.

* * *

Leo did not. His door remained locked and only a small "I'm tired, Donnie" came from the other side. Donnie told April they shouldn't push it, and, reluctantly, April agreed, and went home for the day, mind spinning in anger and sorrow on behalf of Leo.

* * *

_RAPH_

Raph had no clue what time it was when he was shaken awaken only that it was an hour no sane turtle should be up at.

"Whasa . . . ?" He moaned, prying his eyes open.

"Shhh!" A voice whispered sharply.

Raph blinked several times, and frowned as Donnie's face came into focus. "Donnie? What . . . What the shell are you doing here?"

"We need to talk."

Raph groaned and stuffed his head under his pillow. "Couldn't we have talked when I was _awake?_"

"No. I need to talk to you and Mikey privately. It's about Leo."

Suddenly, Raph was wide awake. "Leo? You found out what was wrong?"

Donnie didn't answer. "We need to get Mikey." He stood up and walked to the door, then turned and made sure Raph was following. He was.

"Donnie -"

"Shh!" Donnie hissed, holding a finger to his lips. He crept up to Mikey's door, shell against the wall, then slipped inside. A minute later, Donnie came back out, Mikey in tow, rubbing his eyes.

Donnie gestured to both of them and led them into his room. He waved them in, then gently shut the door and locked it behind him.

"Donnie, wh-what's goin' on?" Mikey yawned as he silently jumped into Donnie's bed and sat crisscross.

"Yeah Don, what's so secret about Leo that you couldn't tell us before we went to sleep?" Raph added, crossing his arms as he leaned against the wall by the head of the bed.

Donnie stood at the door, fidgeting and biting his lip, fiddling with his fingers. Even Raph could tell he was nervous. Extremely nervous.

"Spit it out Donnie." Raph ordered.

Donnie walked over to the desk in his room, and picked up a thick book.

"April brought her psychology book. I read about PTSD and depression, and, while it fit, there was something I wasn't seeing. I stumbled upon that something by accident in the book." Donnie said grimly, a frown etched deep in his face.

"Enough with the riddles, Donnie. What's wrong with Leo?"

"He - he's - Leo - he -" Donnie stammered, his voice choked like he was fighting back tears.

"He what, Donnie?" Mikey urged.

Donnie made a strangled sound in his throat, and instead of answering, flipped to a page in the textbook and shoved it into Raph's hands.

One of the benefits of being a humanoid turtle. Turtles have excellent night vision, and so Raph was able to read the section heading clear as day.

_Abuse._

_"What?!" _Raph barked loudly.

"Shhh! Raph, do you want to wake Leo or Splinter up?" Donnie hushed.

Raph scowled, but lowered his voice. "You're insane, Don, if you think this is the answer."

"What?" Mikey asked curiously.

"Raph, I know, I wish it wasn't true either, but it is. If you read the entire section, you'll notice that the example could be a description of Leo. And - and April got that feeling and accidentally read Leo's emotions, like with Dr. Rockwell. Raph, it's true."

No. No, no. Donnie was lying. There was no freaking way Leo was being abused.

"No way, Donnie. It's not possible. No one here would ever - "

"Raph, it's true. I know it. You can either accept that and help Leo, or let him continue to suffer." Donnie said coldly and firmly.

"What are you talking about?" Mikey asked, lost. But his brothers had forgotten about him.

"But who could - "

"You know who." And Raph did. There was only one person it could be. But, why? Why would the person who cares about them, raised them from mutation, saved their lives countless times, ever hurt one of them? Why? Why would Splinter abuse Leo?

"What is going on?!" Mikey whisper-shouted.

"Mike, Leo, Leo's being - a-abused." Donnie whispered, stumbling over the last word.

Mikey's eyes instantly filled with fear, shock, and horror. "What? But - but - no! Leo - he - he can't be!"

But Mikey's eyes told a different story. His mind was racing, connecting dots, drawing conclusions. Just like Raph's was. Suddenly, memory after memory poured into his head. Of mysterious injuries, days and weeks spent in his room, food on Leo's plate sitting until someone else cleared it. The look of fear in Leo's eyes when they made a sudden move towards him, the defense way he sat and walked, the quietness of his voice.

"No." Mikey whimpered, and silent tears ghosted down his face. Donnie immediately rushed to him and hugged Mikey. Mikey's face disappeared into Donnie's shoulder as sobs began racking his body. On Raph's part, he collapsed into one of Donnie's chairs, his mind and body in shock.

It was forever before one of them spoke again.

"What are we going to do?" Mikey whispered.

"I - I don't know, Mike." Donnie said. "I talked to April. She - she said she'd inquire about abuse victims with her guidance consular at school -"

"You told her before you told us?" Raph hissed.

"She came to me. In that emotion scan, she also saw a memory of Leo being beaten!" Donnie hissed back. Mikey gasped, and Raph reeled back like he had been hit by a nasty punch.

"B-beaten?"

Donnie nodded. "She found out a couple minutes before I did. Anyway, she said she'd ask, and try to think of a place we could go."

"Go?" Mikey echoed.

"Mikey, we can't stay here, or Leo will only continue to be abused. We need to find our own place." Donnie said gently.

Mikey nodded through tears. "We won't let - let - let him hurt Leo anymore."

"Right." Donnie smiled sadly.

"Shell no. We aren't going to let anything ever happen to Leo again." Raph swore, his famous temper beginning to bubble. "Leo's been acting like this since we were freaking _six._ The only thing that could hurt a six-year-old is a monster!"

Mikey nodded grimly, and Donnie narrowed his eyes in agreement. But before anything more could be said, a beeping came from Donnie's belt pocket. Confused, Donnie slipped it out and checked the screen. His eyes widened.

"What now?" Raph groaned.

"Someone's set off an alarm in my lab. Someone's in there." Donnie whispered.

* * *

_LEO_

_Leo was 6 years old, and his father had just called him into the dojo. Leo was excited at the prospect. Maybe Master Splinter was going to train him some more. Earlier that day, he had been staring at Leo as he went through his katas. Maybe his father thought he was worth training._

_On legs that were extremely graceful for a child his age, Leo walked into the dojo he knew so well and shut the door behind him, unaware that today was the day his childhood ended._

A part of Leo was aware, aware that this was only just a dream, a nightmare of a memory. That part wasn't strong enough to get him to wake up.

_Leo was tossed against the floor, thrown aside like a rag doll._

_"Sensei, please. You're hurting me!"_

Tears bubbles in both dream Leo and real Leo's eyes.

_"If you are to lead my sons in the war against Oruku Saki and evil, you must be strong. You must learn to accept pain. Pain must not slow you down. Only a strong turtle can lead my sons. You must not show any weakness! Are you a strong turtle, Kame?"_

_"Y-yes. I - I am strong!" Three words that sealed his fate._

Leo bolted up in bed, his ragged covers falling to the floor. Sweat and tears streamed down his face, and he trembled, for a moment stuck in the past. Then Leo was in the present, and the present was much, much worse.

Leo wiped his eyes half-heartedly, but the tears continued to flow. So Leo gave in and curled up on himself and sobbed. He was so tired of reliving that day, that day all of this began. He was so tired of the beatings, the coarse words, the disappointment. He was tired of everything, tired of life itself. This was a worthless existence. Why did he put up with the pain of living? Why didn't he run, or hide, or simply let himself die from his treatment? Why did he hold on?

Leo knew the answer. His brothers, the same reason he was in this to begin with. He was treated like this so he could protect his brothers, and he lived with it so he could protect his brothers from both the opposing sides and Splinter.

But sometimes, sometimes it got so hard, living. Sometimes, it was just too much and it rocked Leo to his core. Those times were the nights that Leo woke up in a fearful sweat, and cried, like tonight. No one knew about these midnight sob-fests. Leo had long ago mastered the art of silent crying.

What had overwhelmed him this time? The beating? The song from last night? Donnie and April wanting to see him? Most likely a combination of all three.

The song. Oh, the song. Leo tried to bring the words of the song up from the murky depths of his mind, but found that he couldn't remember the exact words. But he needed those words! He needed to know them, to feel them. Those words were his life and soul now. Without them, he had nothing. He needed to hear the song again, _now._

Mind made up, Leo quietly stood up off his mattress, wincing slightly at the ache of his muscles, and crept to the door. He mentally crossed his fingers as he turned the doorknob, and breathed a silent sigh of relief as it turned all the way. Master must have unlocked the door earlier in the night.

Silent as, well, as a ninja, Leo padded down the halls, careful to use everything he knew about stealth. He wasn't supposed to be out of his room this time of night. If he was caught . . . No. He wouldn't be. He was almost at his destination, and he would get there unharmed tonight.

And he did. Almost smiling, but not quite, Leo reached the door to Donnie's lab. He slowly eased the door open, careful not to cause any groans or creams, and slipped inside, before repeating the process and shutting the door behind him.

His eyes were used to the dark by now, and he could see the outlines of the various machines, parts, and half-finished projects scattered around the room. But Leo only had eyes for one, and the minute he locked eyes on it, he scurried over. He gingerly sat down in the chair in front of Donnie's desk, and slipped on the pair of headphones connected to the computer. He pushed the button that clearly was the power button, and the monitor burst to life. Luckily, Leo guessed the password easily ("APRIL" wasn't a very secure password), and quickly opened up the internet.

The home page of Google appeared before him, and Leo only hesitated a second before clumsily typing in the name of the song. Several videos popped up, and he clicked on that had words on the screen. The page switched to YouTube, and after a small pause, the music began to play into the headphones. Leo sat his head down on the desk, on top of his folded arms, and stared slightly upward at the screen as the music flowed over him.

The song ended, too soon. Leo immediately clicked a button, and the video started over, now playing on a loop. Leo stared at the screen for what felt like hours, memorizing the lyrics of the song, burning them into his cerebral. He drank the words in, and let them settle in his core. Eventually, he closed his eyes, and muscles released their tension. He fell asleep, and dreamed of nothing for the rest of the night.

He never noticed the three figures watching him from the shadows, preoccupied as he was, nor did he wake when his immediate younger brother carried him to Donnie's room, or when his second youngest brother checked him over and did what he could for his wounds, or when all three of them tucked him in in Donnie's bed, and began to keep watch over him for the rest of the night.

**Hey! Thanks for reading! I really appreciate it! This is probably a halfway point chapter. I do know what I'm going to be doing, so hopefully I'll be finishing the story soon.**

**Please review, tell me your thoughts, what you like, what you don't, what I can do better, etc.**

**Caleoforever: I know, I'm sorry. I just haven't been too motivated lately. I will try to make another chapter.**

**Have a great Labor Day!**

**-Katana**


	4. Chapter 4

**Katana: Hello! I can't believe how many reviews, fans and follows I have gotten in such a short time. Thank you all so much! I really appreciate it.**

**Leo: Hmph.**

**Katana: Look Leo. It's AU. This isn't you, not really. Alternative Universe, remember?**

**Leo: Doesn't mean I have to like it.**

**Katana: Whatever. You guys can thank jshelton010 for inspiring me to work even harder on this chapter. Speaking of which, she is writing a Frozen/TMNT crossover that I have the honor of betaing starting the second chapter. Read it! It promises to be awesome.**

**Leo: See? Frozen. A happy story.**

**Katana: Ugh! Fine! I promise, my next oneshot will be a happier one. Now will you stop ragging on me?**

**Leo: All right. *sigh***

**Katana: Thank you. Enjoy!**

* * *

_LEO_

* * *

When Leo woke up, it was slowly. For once, he didn't snap to alertness from the stimulus of the shrill ring of his alarm clock. Instead, he gradually worked his way from the warm numbness of sleep into the world of the waking. This world was warm too, and it confused his muddled brain. Why was it warm? It was the middle of fall; it should be freezing.

A flash of panic. What time was it? Was he late?!

Leo pushed through the haze in his mind and forced his eyes to open. A moment of anticipation, then confusion and fear. That wasn't his ceiling. Leo had spent hours locked in his room staring at the ceiling, and he knew every inch of it. This was not his ceiling. Where was he, then? And how did he get - wherever he was?

He blinked a few more times, trying to force awareness and memory back into his mind. It hit him then. The song. The computer. Donnie's lab. He had fallen asleep listening to the song in Donnie's lab! But, he was lying down on something soft and warm. He had been moved. But where?

He moved his hands from where they rested on his plastron and to his sides, where he felt soft flannel sheets on a firm but comfortable mattress. If there had been any doubt, it was gone now. This was not his room or Donnie's lab.

Leo shoved his hands deep into the material and began to push himself up. He had to check the time. He was going to get the dojo before Master started looking for him, and maybe, after he was done with training, maybe he would find out who had moved him and what they knew.

That was the plan, anyway. It didn't quite work out that way.

Two large hands quickly shot out from beside him and gently pushed him back down. "Leo! Dude, you're awake! But you've gotta stay in bed, bro, what with you having the flu and all!" A fast voice chirpped.

Leo turned his head to face his little brother Mikey. "Flu?" He repeated softly. "I'm not sick."

"Donnie said you were, bro, and he's sentenced you to bed rest until such time he sees fit." Mikey said cheerfully. "But don't worry. Donnie also said one of us should be with you when we're not all in training, so you'll have plenty of company."

Leo narrowed his eyes. There was something fishy going on. He didn't feel sick at all, much less sick with the flu. Anyone could see that, so Donnie definitely could. And Mikey was playing along. Why? To keep him in bed? Why would he do that?

"Where am I?"

"Donnie's room. He wanted to keep a close eye on you. We were gonna use your room, but . . . " Mikey trailed off, clearly regretting explaining that far. Fear clutched Leo's heart. They had been in his room?!

"You were in my room?" Leo hissed angrily. Mikey blinked in shock at his tone and unconsciously leaned back. Leo didn't blame him. He was rarely angry with any of his brothers, and he _never _showed it.

"Well, uh, not me. Donnie and Raph, actually. They shut the door before I could see inside, and they only looked for, like, a second." Mikey said in a hopeful tone, as if trying to abate Leo's anger.

It didn't work.

"Why were they in my room?" Leo whispered coldly.

"Well, you - you were asleep, at Donnie's computer, and we were gonna bring you back to your room, but when Donnie and Raph opened the door, they shut it back and brought you here."

Leo pursed his lips and closed his eyes tightly. _Deep breath, Leo. Deep breath._ Oh, God. Donnie and Raph had seen his room. What did they think? What did they know? What if - what if they _knew?_ No. No, they couldn't. Just because they had seen his room didn't mean they knew. No. They didn't know. His shameful secret was just that. A secret.

"Where - where are they? And what time is it?" Leo whispered, all anger from his voice disappearing as he opened his eyes.

To his surprise, Mikey's eyes were brimming with sympathy and sadness, a stark contrast to the energy and happiness that usually lit up his sky blue orbs. Leo turned his gaze down towards Mikey's chest, hating himself. He was the reason for the sadness, he knew it. He didn't know how, but Leo caused that sadness in his baby brother, and he hated himself for it.

"Donnie just left to talk to Splinter a few minutes ago. I have no clue where Raph is, and it's about -" his gaze darted to a different part of the room, "- 7:00."

7:00?!

"I - I gotta -" Leo attempted once again to get up, but Mikey half-tackled him and pushed him back down.

"Whoa, Leo! You gotta stay in bed, remember?" Mikey reminded him desperately.

"No Mikey! I - I have to go to the dojo." Leo struggled underneath his little brother's hands.

"Donnie said to keep you in bed, Leo. You don't need to go to the dojo."

Leo tried to escape from Mikey's grip, over and over again, frustrated tears threatening to burst over. But the pressure was too great, and Leo fell back into the bed. _Master, please. I'm sorry, but Mikey won't let me up. I'm sorry! Please don't punish me! _Leo pleaded in his head, already trying to beg forgiveness, even though he knew his master couldn't hear him.

"May I at least sit up?" Leo gasped out, trembling under Mikey's hands. He had never been so late for training, ever. He would surely get beaten again, this time until his arms broke. It was a cowardly thought, but suddenly, Leo never wanted to leave this bed and face his master. Here, he was warm and with Mikey. With his master, he would be cold and in pain. It was weak to think so, but he didn't want to go.

"Of course." Mikey beamed, his smile seeming a bit forced, and proceeded to stuff pillows under Leo's shell so he was propped up in a sitting position, like a hospital bed. Leo may not have been sick, but the position felt good, taking pressure off aches in his back.

"Mikey, I'm not sick." Leo repeated, crossing his arms once Mikey was done. Mikey tactfully chose to ignore him, and finally Leo sighed and let his glare drop. When he did, Mikey did some thing unexpected. He hugged him.

"Uh, Mikey?" Leo stammered, arms out wide, unsure of what to do.

"Hmm?" Mikey murmured, face buried in Leo's chest.

"What are you doing?" He whispered nervously, trying to suppress shivers at the contact. Touching was bad. Touches meant pain. Leo didn't want pain. He didn't want to be touched. He wanted to be alone. Why was he touching him?

"Hugging you." Mikey answered simply.

"Could - could you, not?" Leo asked tentatively.

Mikey looked up and saw the fear in Leo's eyes. "Oh! Oh, Leo, sorry!" Mikey quickly let go. He'd forgotten how skittish Leo was.

"It's okay." Leo whispered, looking down at his hands.

The room fell into silence, and after a few minutes, Leo drifted off, put to sleep by the warm bed, something he hadn't felt in a long time.

* * *

_DONNIE_

* * *

Donnie took a deep breath. He had been standing in front of the the door for a few minutes, trying to work up the courage and calm to knock and enter. Every time he thought he had, though, his mind would flash back to Leo.

Donnie had slipped off Leo's dojo wraps, pads, belts, and mask when they had gotten him to the bed so he could treat any injuries. And there _were _injuries.

Leo's arms and legs had been absolutely covered with bruises. His skin was more black, blue, purple, and yellow than green under the covering. Bruises also maimed the sides of his plastron and the areas that were weakest and would therefore hurt the most. Cuts crisscrossed the inside of his arms and legs, and entire chunks of skin were scarred over on his knees, evidence of repeated injury. There was also a huge bruise on the side of Leo's head that nearly sent Donnie into shock. From the color and size of the bruise, Leo could have easily have gotten a concussion. Thankfully, it didn't look like he did, but if he had, Leo could have suffered severe brain damage, or even gone into a coma. For all intents and purposes, Splinter could have killed Leo with whatever had caused that bruise. All and all, Leo looked like a truck had hit him.

When he remembered Leo's wounds, Donnie's blood boiled in anger. How could Splinter do this? Leo was their brother, Splinter's _son. _If nothing else, Leo was a being of flesh and blood, with thoughts and emotions. He deserved to be treated like a real person, to be loved and happy, not to be beaten like a punching bag.

With his anger so high, so consuming, Donnie didn't trust himself not to slip up, and would wait for his temper to come back under control. He would calm down, and get ready to knock, but his mind would return to his older brother, and the cycle would begin once more.

_Breathe, Donatello, breathe. Until you figure out a new place to live, you're gonna have to deal with . . . him. _All the more reason to get outta Dodge even faster.

Donnie took another deep breath, then raised his hand and knocked on the frame of the door.

"Come in, Donatello." Donnie repressed a shiver and slid the door open.

Splinter was sitting underneath the branches of the tree on the dojo. He was in his meditative position, which was supposed to be calming, but Donnie noticed Splinter was tense, muscles taught, as if waiting for something.

"What is wrong, Donatello?" His voice was calming, almost fatherly, in fact. If Donnie didn't know better, he would have been taking in by his Sensei's tone and believed he cares. But he did know better, and with his new understanding he could hear the bite of anger and tension in his voice.

Donnie gulped. "I thought you should know that Leo won't be in training for at least a few days."

Donnie didn't miss Splinter tensing even further.

"May I ask why?"

"I'm pretty sure he's come down with the flu. He was throwing up in the bathroom last night and running a high fever. He should stay in bed until he recovers. He's in my room." Donnie explained, lying through his teeth. Anyone who even looked at Leo would be able to tell that he wasn't sick. But it was the only way Donnie could think of that Splinter would let Leo stay in bed and out of his sight. During that time, Donnie would tend to Leo's injuries, and hopefully think of a way out of this mess.

"How long will it take for Leonardo to recover?" Splinter asked after a long stretch of silence.

"If Leo stays in bed, a few days, maybe a week or so. A lot longer if he moves around."

"Very well." Splinter sighed. "Leonardo is excused from training. But he will make it up when he recovers." Was it just Donnie, or did those words have an ominous tone?

"O-of course." Donnie stuttered, and made a hasty retreat while trying to appear like he wasn't making a hasty retreat.

* * *

_RAPH_

* * *

Raph did another 360, examining everything in the room. It didn't take long; there was barely anything to see. At a glance, the room may have seemed like a storage room, or maybe even an old cell in a rundown prison. That's certainly what popped into Raph's head as he looked around the room.

But it wasn't. This was Leo's room.

There was no bed, simply a thin mattress with a couple of blankets. There was a tiny bowl with a candle and old wax, some matches, and alarm clock, a few spare masks and sword belts, and some polishing equipment. That was it. Nothing else.

Looking around the room, Raph's temper spiked. He could literally feel his body temperature rising (an incredible feat for a reptile/mammal hybrid), and he grit his teeth as he repressed the urge to punch something, or, better yet, Splinter.

Raphael had seriously seen nicer jail cells. This was not a room. This was a place for his big brother to be locked away and tormented with pain. This should have been a comfortable safe haven, but Splinter had made it into a horror chamber.

Raph sat down on the mattress, and felt something squish underneath him. He frowned and reached a hand under the mattress, pulling something long and damp out. A nauseating, metallic scent filled the room as Raph held it up, then threw it across the room in disgust as he realized what it was. Old dojo wraps, soaked in fresh blood that now also stained Raph's hand. Raph looked down at his hand and gagged. His brothers blood was literally on his hands, and quite a bit of it.

Raph shivered, and not just because of the blood. There was another thing about the room that got his blood boiling. The room was freezing, literally. It couldn't have been more than 50 degrees, and the blankets on the mattress were threadbare, providing next to no protection from the cold. It would have been bad enough if Leo was human, but as he was part reptile, the low temperature could be fatal. Living in this room for even one night could have killed Leo, and he had lived in here since he was six.

Raph swore under his breath, once again feeling overwhelming guilt. This - this - this sick, twisted treatment had been going on since Leo was _six_, practically a toddler, and he had never thought anything might be wrong. He had let his brother suffer in silence for almost ten years.

Well, no more! Never again. Raph vowed, not for the first time, that day even, that he would get Leo far away from Splinter, or die trying.

Raph got up, and exited Leo's room. He pulled the door shut, then looked up and came face-to-face with Donnie.

"Ah!" He screamed, startled. Then he lightly punched Donnie's arm. "Don't do that."

"Sorry. Just got out of the dojo."

"The verdict?"

"We've gotten a few days, maybe a week."

"Hopefully that'll be enough. Donnie, we need to get out of here ASAP." Raph growled.

"That bad?" Donnie sighed, nodding to Leo's door. Raph didn't answer, and simply held up his blood-stained hand. Donnie slapped a hand over his mouth, gasping.

"That -that -"

"Yeah."

"I'm going to be sick." Donnie whispered.

"It's sick all right. Leo's dojo wrap was soaked with it."

Donnie tensed, standing rigid, and Raph could almost see thunder clouds above his heads.

"How - how - how dare - "

"I know." Raph gritted.

Donnie took several deep breaths. "I'm going to relieve Mikey. Want to come?"

Raph thought, then shook his head. "You're better with emotions than me."

"Suit yourself."

Donnie slipped inside his room and shut the door. Not sure why, Raph hung around outside the door. He wasn't sure what to do. He actually did want to see his big brother, but like he told Donnie, he was afraid that he may say something to hurt Leo, or let it slip they knew. And if Donnie had made one thing clear, it was that while they should be delicate, they shouldn't indicate they knew.

A couple of minutes later, Mikey stepped out.

"Hey Raph. Where you been?"

"Nowhere." Mikey shouldn't have to know what he had found in Leo's room. Mikey was putting on an amazing front of optimism, but Raph could tell this was hurting his baby brother. Mikey had always been the most in sync with the other brothers emotions. He was almost an empath. Seeing his oldest brother in this light, it was hurting the little guy.

"Leo's sleeping, if that's why you're waiting. Woke up for a few minutes, talked a little. Raph, he - he was scared of me touching him."

Raph grimaced. That - that - that (insert cuss word here)! What had he done to Leo, to make him so afraid of a touch?

"We'll - we'll fix that, Mikey. We'll get out of here and help Leo be okay again."

"Right." Mikey tried to grin, but failed.

Raph threw an arm over Mikey's shoulders. "C'mon. You want to watch some TV? You can pick."

Mikey smiled softly, aware of what his brother was doing. "Thanks Raph."

* * *

_APRIL _

* * *

If one were to look at April O'Neil during her 4th period class, one would guess that she was nervous. And one would be correct. Ever since she had left the Lair last night, her mind had been completely occupied with thoughts of Leo. She had had multiple nightmares during the night, all of them featuring Leo getting beaten, and her research hadn't helped any.

She had gotten to school early that morning and logged on to a computer station into the corner, far from most prying eyes. She had Googled abuse victims, and watched the information flood in.

For an hour, April forced back tears as she read psychological profiles, biographies, news stories, and looked at pictures, quotes, and videos. All of it broke her heart, and the fact that Leo was going through it made her want to bawl.

And now, all that information and the memories of Leo's emotions and experiences swirled in April's head, making any attempt at actually paying attention to her teacher futile. That poor, poor soul. Living with this for - for who knows how long. Tears threatened to form in her eyes as her imagination (curse her younger self for not ruining it with TV) played scenario after scenario, each one growing more violent and intense with torture.

Finally, mercifully, the bell rang. April grabbed her already packed bag and was out the door like a shot.

She rushed down the hall, determined to outrun her emotions. She couldn't break down; she couldn't. The guys needed her. They needed her to think of a place they could go.

An arm suddenly shot out and grabbed her, yanking her in front of a row of lockers. April spun, and came face to face with her best friend, Irma.

"Whoa, April. Where's the fire?" Irma said half-jokingly, pushing her glasses up her nose.

April looked away. "Just - just trying not to be late, Irma." April said in a faux cheerful voice.

Irma frowned. "You're horrible at lying, April. What's bugging ya?"

April frowned as well, and, in a split second decision, grabbed Irma's wrist and pulled her friend down the hall.

"Whoa! Where are we going?" April didn't answer. She walked as fast as she could, pulling Irma behind her, until they reached a janitor closet on the second floor. Out of the way, the janitor almost never came there, and Irma and April had all their private conversations there. April pushed Irma inside, slammed the door behind them, and flipped on the lights.

"Irma. I need to tell you something. But you need to swear you will never say a word of this to anyone, ever."

"I won't."

"You need to promise, Irma." April repeated stubbornly.

"I promise April. What's wrong?"

April bit her lip, took a deep breath, and summoned her courage. "A friend of a friend of mine, I think - I'm pretty sure that - that he's being abused."

Irma's eyes widened in shock behind her glasses. Her eyes then quickly narrowed in disgust. "Abuse? _Who?"_

"You don't know him, he's - he's homeschooled. I - I found out yesterday. He - I don't think he knows I know."

"April, you have to call the police on the dirtbag who's doing it. How old is the guy? Who's - you know?"

"He - his name is Leo. He's 15." April bowed her head, rubbing her eyes.

"Call the police! You can't let Leo go through this a second longer."

"Irma, it's complicated. I - I can't call the police. Leo, he - he's not - not supposed to be here. If I call the police, he'll - he'll get hurt too."

"What - ?"

"Irma, I can't! The police can't be involved! I just - I don't know. I need to get Leo out of here. Out of his home. But - but I have no clue where. And - and he's not alone. He has brothers. They - they aren't being hurt, I don't think. They didn't even know until, like, yesterday." April blubbered, tears silently falling from her cloudy blue eyes.

"April." Irma gave her friend a one-armed hug.

"I don't know where to take him and his brothers. I can't think of any place that's safe and big enough in the city."

"April, I'm not gonna pretend I know what's going on, but you do what you need to do. Even if that means looking outside the city. C'mon April. Isn't there anywhere where you've felt absolutely safe?"

April thought. Safe. It had been a long time since she had felt safe and totally secure. She cast her mind out for a safe memory, and was surprised at what she found. She remembered being a little girl, and bouncing around a small kitchen, trailing after an adult. The memory made her smile through her tears.

That's when it hit her, and she gasped, amazed she hadn't thought of it before.

"What?"

"Irma, I know what to do. Thank you!" April wrapped her arms around Irma, giving her a huge hug and almost knocking her over.

"Uh, you're welcome. Not sure what I did, but you're welcome."

April grinned, feeling a spark of hope at her inkling of a plan. "Your parents are away for the next week, right? And they left their truck?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Can I borrow it?"

* * *

The minute school was out, April bolted out the door and ran straight to the Lair, not stopping until she reached the main entrance. She rested on the turnstiles, catching her breath, then went inside. Raph and Mikey were sitting in the pit, pretending to watch TV, from the glazed looks in their eyes.

"Hey guys!" She said, not exactly happy, but definitely excited.

"What's got you so happy?" Raph grumbled, Mikey nodding his agreement.

"Because I found a place." She whispered, not knowing if Splinter could hear them. Mikey's and Raph's eyes grew to the size of pizza pans. In synchronization, they hopped up and pulled April down a hallway and into a bedroom. Judging from the drum set and heavy metal posters, April guessed it was Raph's.

"Where?" Raph wasted no time in asking.

April gave a determined grin. "To Grandmother's house we go."

**All right, people. You know what I want. Please, please, please, please, please review! I really want reviews!**

**Also, can you guess where April's taking the guys? Any TMNT 03 fan should be able to get this! Leave your guesses and reviews in the super fun box below.**

**Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon, but my teachers are starting to pour on the homework, so if there are delays, sorry. On the plus side, I joined a creative writing club at my school, so I should have a bit more time to write.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**-Katana**


	5. Chapter 5

**Katana: HEY! Yes, it's been awhile, but guess what?! This chapter is, over 10,000 words long! That's the longest chapter I've ever written for anything! So how about that?**

**Leo: Not bad. **

**Katana: Huff. No pleasing you, is there?**

**Leo: Not with this fic.**

**Katana: Oh, that reminds me. *leaves, returns wearing Shredders armor***

**Leo: What are you wearing?**

**Katana: Just a little . . . Protection.**

**Leo: What did you do?**

**Katana: Um . . . . Read and enjoy!**

Because of You

_DONNIE_

Donnie paced back and forth across the room, careful to tread lightly and not wake his brother. He had tried to sit on the floor (the only things in the room were a bed and nightstand; everything else Donnie owned was in his lab) and read a book he had left on the nightstand, but pent-up energy from dealing with the situation at hand made reading next to impossible. After reading the same page 20 times and not understanding even one word, he had given up. He needed to do something physical, like tinkering with a project, or even training. But his room was too small to train in, and all of his tools and projects were in his lab. So Donnie had settled for pacing.

He had looked at Leo's injuries again. The night before, he had wrapped the largest, deepest cuts in bandages, after treating them with antibiotic cream, hoping to avoid infection. To Donnie's relief, the bandages remained tight and firm. He would reapply the antibiotics, but he didn't want to wake Leo. His big brother was sleeping peacefully, and Donnie didn't have the heart to wake him. He would tend to his brother later, when he woke.

So that just left pacing and thinking. Thinking about the elephant in the room.

Donnie silently sighed. This was a nightmare. Their Leo was being abused, and he, the "resident genius", hadn't noticed and now couldn't figure a way out. The only way to help Leo was to get him far away from Splinter, so they could be free to help him heal. Splinter never left the Lair, and there was no way in shell they could beat him in a fight, so getting Splinter out of the Lair wasn't an option. That left them leaving the Lair. Under further scrutiny, this actually seemed like the better choice anyway. The Lair would always carry bad memories for Leo, no matter how long Splinter was gone, and that would impede recovery from the past. Moving somewhere completely new would be a fresh start, and make it easier for to help Leo come to terms with what had -_ was _\- happening.

Finding a new place to live, however, was easier said than done. They needed to find a permanent location that was big enough to accommodate 4 teenage boys and a training area, and far enough removed from the places normal humans went. It also needed to be a place Splinter didn't know about, so a place in the sewers would be a last resort, as it would be too easy for Splinter to find them. That meant a place on the surface, possibly an abandoned warehouse or apartment building.

Donnie frowned. It'd have to be a pretty well removed building. Mikey's screams and yelling alone rivaled the noise of New York City traffic, not to mention the racket he made when Raph started chasing him. Maybe they should invest in a soundproof building, if such a building existed and was abandoned . . .

April said she'd think about it and take a look around. Maybe she'd find something.

"AAAAHHH!" A voice screamed inside the small room. Donnie jumped, startled out of his musings. He turned around, spinning his head quickly, looking for the source.

"AAAAHHH!" The voice yelled again, and Donnie found the source. Leo.

Donnie rushed over to him, cursing mentally. He should have been paying more attention. Leo was extremely pale and sweat was down his face in rivers. His face was twisted in pain and angst, and tears leaked out of the corners of his tightly closed eyes.

"Leo. Leo. Leo. Come on, Leo, wake up. Leo . . . "

* * *

_LEO_

_A wooden practice sword was brought down in a mighty swing, whacking Leo's plastron, then his legs, then the back of his knees. He howled in pain, unable to choke it back like usual. A scowl crossed Master's face at the sound as he loomed over Leo._

_"What is that, Kame? Are you not strong enough? Does it hurt?"_

_Leo knew what he should say. He should deny the pain, claim strength, and take his beating like a true_ shinobi._ But instead, repressed words and dangerous thoughts slipped out._

_"Yes! Yes, it hurts! Please! Please stop hurting me!" He screeched. Another hard whack to the back of his knees brought him down into a kneeling position._

_"'Stop?' 'It hurts?' You think this is true pain, Kame? Bah! This is nothing. Compared to what the Shredder would do if he captured you and your teammates, this is not even an itch! The Shredder will not stop u__ntil you are pryed out of your shell and lye dead at his feet!"_

_A truly psychotic, evil, leering grin appeared on Master's face. "You want to feel true pain, Kame?" The_ broken was_ raised high._

_"No, please! Don't! PLEASE!" Leo cried, hands clasped tight in a desperate prayer. His prayer went unanswered, and the sword flashed as it turned from wood to steel in its downward arc, and the tip of the blade was driven into the flesh that connected Leo to his plastron._

_"AAAAHHH!" Leo screamed in absolute pain. Fire was burning his chest. Lava was flowing between him and his plastron. Chemicals were burning away at his flesh, it hurt so much!_

_The literal sword that was being thrust into him twisted, and Leo let out another blood-curdling scream as a fresh wave of pain crashed over him, and precious red blood gushed out of him._

_A harsh laughter filled his ears as the sword dug deeper and deeper into his chest. Leo could no longer scream, only whimper in pain._

_"_LEO!_" A voice sliced through the laughter. Suddenly, Donnie was standing over him, pushing Master off of him, the sword coming out. The blood continued to flow._

_"Leo! Are you okay?! No, of course you're not! Oh, God, how could Splinter do this?! What do I do?!" Donnie fussed over him nervously, starting to wrap Leo in bandages. Behind him, Leo could see Master picking himself off the floor, shifting his grip on the sword. With dread and fear creeping up his spine, Leo realized what was about to happen._

_"'O'ie, 'O'ie." He tried to say, trying to warn Donnie._

_"It'll - it'll be okay, Leo! I - I'll fix you up!" Donnie said, oblivious to the danger behind him. Master lifted the sword up, the deadly point aimed at the center of Donnie's shell._

_"'O'ie!" Leo choked out._

_It was too late. Donnie didn't move away from him, and the sword came plunging down with incredible force, puncturing straight through Donnie. Suddenly, Donnie had a bloody sword sticking out of his chest._

Leo. Leo.

_It was almost comical, how neatly the sword had gone through him. Donnie looked down at it with an almost confused expression, then looked up and locked eyes with Leo._

Come on Leo, wake up!

_Donnie opened his mouth, trying to say something. Instead of words, blood gurgled out, dripping down his chin._

Leo . . .

_Donnie's eyes took on a glassy look, and Leo knew. Donnie was dead. Gone._

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Leo screamed, eyes flying opening, half sitting up, breathing hard and ragged. He sucked in a deep breath as he noticed he wasn't in the dojo, he was in Donnie's room, on Donnie's bed. Gasping out air, he looked down. No blood pouring out from under his plastron.

"Leo?" A tentative voice asked. Leo looked up with frantic eyes. _Donnie._ Donnie was standing right beside him, hunched over the bed, concern written all over his face. Leo's eyes darted down to Donnie's chest. It was flawless. No sword jutting out, not a speck of blood.

It was just another nightmare. Just another horrible, terrifying, shell of a nightmare.

"Are you all right, Leo?" Donnie asked softly, slowly, gently, sitting down in the bed by Leo's feet.

Leo opened his mouth, a typical, dismissive response clawing up his throat. _I'm fine, Donnie. Yeah, just a dream. Yes, I'm all right. _But he couldn't say those worn, tired words. He wasn't fine, not at all. He didn't want to lie about it anymore. Slowly, Leo shut his mouth and shook his head. _No._

"Did you have a nightmare?" Donnie gently prodded.

Leo nodded._ Yes._

"You want to talk about it?"

Leo hesitated. Honestly? Yes, he did. But he couldn't. He couldn't tell Donnie that he dreamed about Master beating him, trying to deshell him, and killing Donnie. Donnie wasn't stupid; he'd figure out that there was a kernel of truth to this dream. Maybe - maybe he could bluff about it. Leave some parts out.

Leo slowly nodded a little, barely moving his head, but that was all the answer Donnie needed. Slowly, so Leo could see what he was doing, he moved so he was sitting at Leo's side, not so close Leo's personal space would feel invaded, but close enough for his presence to be known. Reflexively, Leo drew his legs in so he was hugging them, instinctively protecting his plastron.

"What happened?" Donnie asked gently, making Leo feel he wasn't necessarily expecting an answer right away. So Leo took his time coming up with a censored version.

"You - you were dead." Leo finally said. "You were _killed_." He amended. "You were killed while trying to help me, because I was weak."

Donnie digested this. "Why were you weak? Why was I trying to help you?"

Leo shrank back. Too much, too much. Too _close_.

Donnie noticed and hastened to correct himself. "It's okay. You don't have to give me specifics, if you don't want to.

Leo bit the inside of his cheek, a nervous habit he had picked up. He looked at Donnie hesitantly, and saw nothing but patient encouragement.

"I was hurt." He finally decided on. "I had gotten injured, and because you were trying to help me, you got killed."

"How did I die? I mean, like, how was I killed. Not who killed me."

"Sword. Through your back. You died right on top of me." Leo whispered softly.

"So," Donnie summarized, "I was leaning over you, trying to tend to you, and someone stabbed me in the back and killed me."

Leo nodded.

"Well, um, Leo, I'm not dead." He chuckled nervously. "It didn't happen, and it wasn't your fault in the dream anyway."

"Yes it was." Leo said softly. "If you hadn't stopped to help me, you would have lived."

"What should I have done, left you there?" Donnie joked, then frowned, concerned, as he saw the look on Leo's face. "Leo, I'm not gonna ignore you if you're hurt."

"You should have." Leo persisted. "If you had, you would have lived. I was weak and wasn't worth it." Leo bowed his head, hoping Donnie would see the truth in his words. He was merely a weapon for the family; a sword forged with beatings and harsh treatment to form a deadly blade. He was useful in defending his family, but a weapon was not worth the life of a teammate. If a weapon was weak, it was disposed of. In the dream, he was weak, and should have been left to die.

Donnie had to understand; a weapon was not worth saving at the cost of his own life.

* * *

_DONNIE_

_We can't let Leo know we know._ His own words were coming back to haunt him. He wanted nothing more than to throw his arms around Leo and tell him how they had vowed to get him out of here. Well, except maybe to pound Splinter into the ground, then down even further. Like, six feet further.

Leo's words and expression had rocked him to the core. _I was weak and wasn't worth it._ No one should think like that. Everyone had their moments when they simply weren't strong. It didn't mean they weren't worth helping. No one deserved to be ignored when they were injured and in need of help. Especially not his brother.

Splinter's abuse wasn't purely physical, it seemed. It was mental and emotional as well. For Leo to feel so beaten down that he'd think that weakness from injury meant he wasn't worth help . . . Urgh! It made Donnie's vision go red!

He couldn't let Leo believe that, not for even a second longer. Screw what he said earlier! This was more important than a false sense of secrecy for Leo to hide behind.

"Leo, don't believe that for even a nanosecond." Donnie said in the steely, yet non-hostile tone you use when talking to a dog. "There is no way in shell I would ever leave you injured. You are a person, and more importantly, you are my brother. You will _always _be worth it, no matter what anyone else has told you."

Leo's eyes widened, in shock and fear. "Donnie . . . "

"Leo, I swear, I will always help you, with anything and everything, no matter what." Donnie said, locking eyes with his brother to convey the seriousness, understanding, and heartfelt sincerity of his words.

Leo shrank back, pulling his head down until it was nearly in his shell. "But - but what if - what if it's better for you to - to just turn away?" He said in a muffled, desperate voice.

"Especially then, Leonardo." Leo shuddered, and his head slowly came back out as he continued to shake.

"That's why I'm here, isn't it? To - to - try to -" He stammered.

"Yeah. We're gonna get you outta here, Leo. I promise."

"No!" Leo shouted, looking up, eyes wild. "Don't! He'll just find a new weapon if he loses me. I can take it. You and Mikey and Raph, you - you can't. I've already been shaped into the weapon. No one else needs to go through that to take my place."

Stunned by Leo's words, Donnie instinctively leaned back and swallowed nervously. He had never heard Leo speak that loudly or emotionally. But then he regained his footing and slowly, so Leo could see what he was doing, rested a hand on his shoulder. Leo still flinched, but he didn't shrug the hand off either. He looked at Donnie desperately, hoping his words had gotten through.

"Leonardo, you are not, I repeat, _not _a weapon. You are not a sword to be twisted and beaten until you are flawless. You are my brother. You're Mikey's and Raph's brother too. You are a living being, and you are allowed to have flaws and moments of weakness. You're a person, and you deserve to be treated like one. You are a person, Leo. Not a weapon."

Leo stared at him with confused, pained eyes as tears started to gather in them. Two slipped out, and the rivers began to flow. Leo squeezed his eyes shut, but tears continued to streak down his face, so he hunched over his body, hugging his legs, and shook as silent sobs racked his body.

Slowly, Donnie adjusted his grip on Leo so he was holding Leo in a one-armed hug. Leo stiffened when he felt the change in position, but then relaxed when he realized nothing about this touch was going to hurt him.

"All four of us are going to get out of this madhouse, Leo. I promise." Donnie whispered. "No turtle left behind. He won't hurt you ever again."

* * *

_RAPH_

Raph stared at April like she had grown an extra head.

"Okay . . . Now what the shell does that mean?!" He barked. Why on earth was she spouting cryptic riddles about something like this? _"To grandmother's house we go?"_ What kind of answer was that? Leo's life was at stake here!

"Exactly what I said." April states. "When I was little, my dad would take me to his mother's, my grandmother's, home in the woods. She passed when I was 11 and left the house to my dad in her will. I haven't been back since, so it'll probably need repairs, but it's pretty big, there's no one around for miles, and it's only an hour away from the city. It's perfect."

"And how do you suppose we get to this perfect place?" Raph asked skeptically. At an hour away from the city, the house was outside their running distance. And it wasn't like they could just hop on a bus.

"I convinced my friend Irma to let me borrow her parents truck. Her parents are away until next week and will never have to know."

"Truck?"

"Well, more like a van. Point is, it'll work."

Raph thought about it. The house sounded good. Secluded, far away from Splinter, and the Shredder and the Kraang as a bonus, and large enough for all of them. It could work. They'd need money and/or supplies to make repairs, but they had some emergency money squirreled away in the dojo that he could liberate before they left, and April they could send to buy things.

"When can we use the van?" Raph finally asked.

"Irma said we could use it whenever we needed to this week." April reported.

"Mikey, do you think you could grab essentials and help Donnie pack his equipment by 10?"

"Of course, bro!"

"April, can you get the van to that alley by the manhole on the corner of Eastman and Laird?"

April nodded, a serious look on her face. "Definitely."

"Then it's settled." Raph said, holding his hand out. Mikey and April placed their hands on top of his. "We go tonight.

* * *

Raph proceeded to outline the plan. April would go to Irma's and get the van in place, while Raph and Mikey would pack. Then Raph would stay with Leo while Mikey helped Donnie get prepared and run the bags to the manhole cover, where April would stow the bags in the van.

Raph told Mikey to take only what he absolutely had to have. The van would have to carry all four of them, Donnie's equipment, and luggage, so they couldn't afford to waste space. Mikey nodded and zoomed off to his room, and Raph did the same.

He went to his closest and dug out an old duffel bag. He would try to fit what he wanted to take into that one bag. Knowing Donnie, there would be a lot of useful tools and inventions he'd find necessary to take along, and he'd need a lot of space. Raph understood this, and that he should let Donnie have them. Anything that Donnie took was almost guaranteed to improve their new lives

Okay. Essentials first, then if there was still room, more frivolous things. He dug out an old terrarium, and scooped his pet turtle Spike up from his place on the bed, placing him and some food inside. He tucked the terrarium in the bag, instantly taking up half the space. He threw in his backup sais, polishing cloth and oil, a couple of grindstones, and a few spare uniforms and shuriken. After that, there was a tiny amount of space left, and, after a moment of thought, Raph took down his Green Day poster, rolled it up, and stuffed it in the bag. He zipped it up, leaving a small gap so air could get in for Spike.

Carrying the bag with tenderness, he walked next door to Mikey's room, where the turtle was tearing it apart. A backpack laid on his bed, stuffed with sketchbooks, art supplies, and various comic books. The turtle himself was under his bed, only his legs visible.

"Whoa, Mikey. Didn't think it was possible that your room could get any messier." Raph joked lightly.

"Har-har." Mikey said sarcastically. "I'm trying to find - but I can't - Oh! Found it!" He cheered, popping back out from under his bed, covered in dust and clutching a ratty old teddy bear in his hands.

"You tore your room apart looking for that?" Raph asked, raising a nonexistent eyebrow at the nearly destroyed toy.

"Yeah bro! Don't you remember? When we were, like, 4, I was having nightmares every night, so one night Leo - "

"- gave you that bear." Raph finished. He remembered now. For over two weeks, Mikey had woken up in middle of the night, screaming about humans chasing him. Back then, they all shared a room, so they were all woken up as well. Then, one night, Leo had handed Mikey his teddy bear and told him that the bear would keep him safe.

"Yeah. After that, I never had that nightmare again." Mikey said wistfully, hugging the bear to his chest before tucking it tenderly in his backpack and zipping it up.

"Here, Mikey. Can you run both to the manhole?" Raph gently handed his bag to Mikey, and Mikey slid it over his shoulders to hang like a messenger bag.

"Careful, Spike's in there." Raph cautioned.

"I'll be careful, dude. And totally!" Mikey said, picking up the backpack and put it on, stretching the elongated straps to their limit.

"Good. I'll relieve Donnie." Raph ended the conversation and crossed the hall to Donnie's room. He hesitated, then raised his hand and knock softly. He heard the whisper of a voice, words to indistinct to understand, then the door opened a crack, Donnie defensively peeking out.

"Oh, it's you." Donnie opened the door wider and let Raph in.

_Who else would I be? _Raph almost said, but he caught himself. He knew exactly who Donnie thought he might be.

Donnie shut the door behind Raph, then moved back to the bed. Leo was awake, Raph saw, and was looking at him with wide, nervous eyes. Before, Raph would have expected that as the norm, but now that he knew where that nervousness stemmed from, it broke his heart that his big brother was living in such fear.

Donnie sat down next to Leo, and Leo wordlessly held out an arm with bandages half hanging off of it. Donnie took it and began unraveling the cloth, sliding it off to reveal a large gash running from Leo's elbow to 3/4's of the way to his wrist. It looked deep. The cut was surrounded by nasty bruises, and smaller cuts that were beginning to heal overlapped them. Donnie gave the limb a once over, then grabbed a small tube of cream off the nightstand and began treating the wounds.

"What do you need, Raph?" Donnie asked without looking up.

"Well, um . . . . " Raph murmured. He wasn't sure how to say it without Leo catching on. If it were up to him, they would have told Leo they knew the minute they decided to leave, but Donnie had said it would be best to act normal until they were basically out the door. The whole thing was highly traumatic and humiliating for Leo. There was no way to predict how Leo would react if he knew they knew, and that could be detrimental to their plans to escape. So for Leo's own good, he had to be left in the dark.

When Raph hesitated, Donnie looked up and noticed him darting glances at Leo. "He knows." Donnie said flatly.

"What?"

"He knows we know, Raph. So spit it out." What happened to _we can't let him know we know_? But Raph proceeded to "spit it out".

"April came by. She found a place." The effect those words had on Donnie was almost comical. He sat up straight in a flash and leapt off the bed. Surprised by the sudden movement, Leo yanked his arm back to his chest and shrunk back into himself. Donnie didn't noticed as he ran up to Raph.

"Really? Where?"

"Her grandmother's old home in the woods. It's deserted, out in the middle of nowhere. Sounds good. She's borrowing her friends van and she'll us tonight. Go pack, brainiac."

"Pack? But -?" Donnie's eyes flickered over his shoulder to where Leo sat.

"Mikey'll help you. He's already running his bag and mine to the manhole on Eastman and Laird. I'll stay with Leo." At the sound of his name, Leo looked up and locked eyes with Raph. Raph did his best to give a comforting smile, but he doubted it went very well. Leo simply blinked and turned his face away.

"Okay, I guess." Donnie said. He turned and gave a smile and nod to Leo, then left the room.

The room was immediately filled with awkward silence. Raph didn't know what to say. Everything about his relationship with his brother had changed. Now that he knew, his entire view of Leo had changed. Leo wasn't naturally shy and emo; at least, not to this extent. Splinter had literally beaten that into him.

Raph slowly walked across the room and sat down on the bed next to Leo. Leo twitched when he did, but didn't scoot away. Raph mentally cheered. This was good.

Leo didn't say anything. He averted his eyes, staring down at the half-treated wound on his arm, rubbing it and tracing the cut.

"I can finish that, if you want. It's my fault Donnie walked out on you." Raph offered. He reached a tentative hand out towards Leo's arm. Leo pulled back, scooting away.

"I'm fine, Raph." Leo whispered.

"Leo, you have a giant cut on your arm and who knows how many other injuries everywhere else. You are not fine." Raph said firmly.

Leo just looked away and continued to cradle his arm. Raph retracted his hand and sighed. It seemed like Leo was even _more_ nervous and scared now, now that he knew his brothers knew about him. He had never been so terrified at the thought of him being touched by one of them. By some miracle, Donnie had managed to convince Leo to let himself be treated, but now that it was Raph offering, Leo shut down and shied away.

"We're leaving?" Leo's soft voice cut through the silence.

Raph jumped, then settled down. He hadn't expected Leo to speak again. "Yeah. Hopefully tonight."

"And it's April's place?"

"Her grandmother's, yeah. She says it's abandoned, has been for years, and that there's no one around for miles."

Leo peeked up at Raph. "That sounds . . . Nice. Safe."

Raph half-smiled. Making progress. "Yeah, it does. April's borrowing a van from a friend, and Mikey should be loading it with Donnie's techno-dohickys and a couple other things right about now. We'll be outta here by 10."

Leo didn't exactly smile, but his face seemed to become a little more relaxed and less tense, and that alone made Raph smile. Then Raph's eyes traveled down to Leo's arm, which Leo was still tenderly rubbing, and his smile was replaced with a deep frown.

"You sure you don't want me to finish treating that?" Raph asked again.

Leo looked down at his mutilated arm and shook his head.

"No, you don't want me to, or no, you're not sure?" Raph teased gently.

"I'm fine, Raph." Leo sighed resignedly.

"Even if you are, will you let me? If not for yourself, then for Mikey, Donnie, and me? _We'd _feel better if we knew your wounds were being treated." Blackmail? Maybe. But if it got Leo to let his wounds be treated, then Raph would blackmail 'til the cows came home.

Leo shifted uncomfortably. He rubbed the large cut once more, then hesitantly, jerkily, moved his arm onto Raph's lap. It took him a second to fully commit, but he eventually released the tension in his arm, surrendering it to Raph.

"You'll be careful?" He asked in a soft, tiny voice, with large sapphire eyes.

Raph's heart shattered then and there. "Of course, bro. I'm not gonna hurt you." He assured gently.

"I will _never _hurt you." Raph muttered with thinly veiled fierce protectiveness, grabbing the cream and bandages and setting to work on Leo's arm.

Leo blinked in surprise at his brother's tone and almost curled back up on himself, away from the energy in his brother's voice, but made himself stay still. Raph wasn't going to hurt him. He was his brother, and he said he wouldn't.

Raph saw all this flash in Leo's eyes, and felt a grim satisfaction. Splinter may have taken away Leo's ability to trust and his spark, but slowly, they were getting some of it back. He hoped.

* * *

_DONNIE_

Packing was probably one of the hardest things Donnie had ever done, decision-making wise. He knew he couldn't go over two bags to be fair to his brothers; but it was just so hard to pick and choose. Whatever he didn't would be gone forever. So needless to say, it was a difficult task.

He started with packing all of his tools into his tool box, then gathered up all of the medical supplies he had and stuffed them into a first aid kit. Both cases went into his old brown duffel bag he used when scavenging parts. Next in went his beloved laptop and modem so he could stay connected to the world. Now what else? What else did he _have_ to have?

He walked to his wall of photos and pulled one down. This one was his favorite. They'd convinced Leo to actually be in it and had crowded around him. Mikey was beaming, waving frantically at the camera. Raph had his typical daredevil smirk on his face and was pointing a sai dead ahead, as if daring someone to come at him. Donnie himself had a sheepish smile, clutching his bottle staff with both hands like a walking stick. Leo was shyly standing in the middle position forced upon him. His head was bowed, but his eyes were gazing up at the camera, and the slimmest _hint_ of a smile was _just barely_ noticeable. This was the only picture Donnie had of Leo, and he treasured it more than anything. He tucked the picture tenderly into his bag. No way was he leaving this behind.

His gaze slipped to an extremely damaged Metalhead. He'd been planning on repairing the little guy, reworking the circuits so a Kraang couldn't take control any, but hadn't gotten around to making any real progress. Maybe he could take some of the important parts and completely rebuild him. A robot could come in handy, considering their luck.

Donnie positioned his hands on either side of Metalhead's head, then twisted. _Snap!_ Wires sparked as the head was forcibly disconnected. Most of the important wires, parts, and chips were located in the head, so that was pretty much all Donnie needed. He tossed it up and down gently, like a football **(g****et the reference, anyone?)**, then tucked it in his bag.

Full. He sighed. One more bag, and so much to choose from.

He yanked open a desk drawer and pulled out stacks of notes, sorting through them for the most important and stuffing them in a folder, stuffing it into a backpack. He pulled his favorite books off the shelves and situated them in the pack. He folded a couple masks, pads, and belts into an outside pocket. He scanned the room, then in a blur, scooped up the most useful pieces of tech he could find. He had no idea what kind of tech would be needed out in the woods, so he grabbed the stuff that was all-purpose; stuff that he could do almost anything with.

He was just squishing it all into his backpack and (not without difficulty) zipping it shut when Mikey came into his lab.

"Hey D."

"Hey - Mikey." Donnie gasped as he finally zipped the pack shut. "You dropped off the bags?"

"Yep. April pulled up in the van when I got there, and it is sweet! All techy and mysterious."

"That's good, Mike." Donnie grunted, swinging his duffel bag off his lab table. "Ready for another run?"

"Course, Donnie! Then when I get back we can leave?" Mikey asked, a hopeful look in his eyes.

"As soon as the sun goes down, which is in about 2 hours." Donnie answered.

Mikey grinned, though his usual happy grin now had a grim edge to it. "Radical, bro." He slipped the backpack on his shell and, with difficulty, slung the duffel bag handed to him byDonnie over his shoulders.

"Man, Donnie, what did you put in these? Rocks?" Mikey joked, groaning as he shifted the weight.

"Just tech, tools, and medicine, Mikey. Be careful with it!" Donnie added as he opened the garage door.

"Careful is my middle name, bro."

"More like chaos." Donnie muttered, displays of Mikey's clumsiness all too vivid in his memory.

"Dude, if you're so concerned, why don't you come with me?" Mikey said. "Take some of the load."

"I don't want to leave Leo with only Raph. Two turtles are better than one, after all." Donnie admitted.

Mikey nodded. "I understand. I don't want to leave him alone either." Mikey stared at his feet. "I - I don't _understand_. Why would Splinter do this?" Mikey cried.

"I don't know, Mike. I really don't know." Donnie said, feeling utterly useless. He was the "genius." He was supposed to know everything, how everything worked, why everything happened. But this was one thing he didn't know, a puzzle he couldn't solve.

A sniffle broke the silence, and Donnie mentally cursed as he say repressed tears begin to form in Mikey's eyes.

"Ah, Mikey. Don't - don't cry." Donnie knelt and awkwardly hugged Mikey, bags, shell, and all. "It'll be okay. We'll get out of here, go to the place in the woods, and never see Splinter again. Then we can help Leo get better."

Mikey's arms wrapped tight around Donnie. "Yeah. But - but it won't be the same. I mean, it'll be so . . . ." Mikey trailed off.

"I know what you mean, Mike. But it has to be done. We have to get out of here, for Leo's sake. We have to stay strong, at least until we're far away from the rat. Can you do that?"

Mikey nodded against Donnie's shoulder and pulled back. "Yeah."

Donnie smiled grimly. "Then run the bags to the van, and tell April we'll be there at 8:10 sharp. Then come straight to my room. Okay?"

"Okay." Mikey smiled determinedly back, then began to run into the tunnels.

Donnie sighed, then, checking that Splinter wasn't out of the dojo, quickly sprinted to his room. He rapped on the door quietly, and tapped his foot nervously as he waited for Raph to open the door.

"Ah, there ya are Don." Raph said as he let him in.

Donnie waited for him to shut the door before speaking. "Mikey's running my bags up. April's already there. We can leave as soon as the sun goes down."

"Why not sooner?" Raph frowned as he sat down beside Leo. All of Leo's bandages had been changed, telling Donnie that Raph had finished the job he had left half finished. Oops. But it was encouraging that Leo had let Raph treat him.

"Two reasons. One, we can't afford to be seen, even if we'll be exposed for only a second. Two, leaving before the sun goes down would make Splinter -" Donnie didn't miss the way Leo flinched "- suspicious, and we can't let him think we're up to something, or he might follow us or try to stop us. So we wait."

"Okay, but how are we going to sneak Leo out?" Raph asked. "Splinter won't let him just waltz out of here when he's supposed to be sick."

"No." Leo whispered. Donnie and Raph turned towards him, surprised. Neither of them had expected Leo to speak.

"No?" Donnie repeated, confused. "No, what?"

"He won't let me go. When he learns I'm not sick, he'll punish me for letting you keep me in bed." Leo whispered, hugging his legs to his body and staring at his knees.

"Like shell he will." Raph snorted. "We won't let that happen, Leo. He won't find out until it's too late."

Leo didn't exactly look reassured.

"What if we send Leo out into the tunnels before we leave, then we make it seem like we're going out on patrol and leaving Leo to rest? Splinter will think that Leo's still in here when he's actually already in the sewers, letting us get a head start and get away." Donnie suggested.

Raph and Leo both stared at the genius, and he shifted uncomfortably under their gaze. "What?!" He finally said.

"That was . . . . Kind of . . . . Quick." Raph voiced what both he and Leo were thinking.

Donnie shrugged. "I've been thinking about it in the corner of my mind ever since you said we were leaving tonight. I thought we'd need a plan."

"That sounds like a good plan, Donnie." Leo whispered.

"I just hope it's good enough." Donnie sighed, leaning up against the wall.

Awkward silence fell over the room.

* * *

_LEO_

Leo was in agony. Not physically, though he didn't feel 100% there, but then, he never did. Splinter made sure of that.

Anyway, he was in agony. Emotional agony.

It was truly hitting him for the first time. _They knew._ Donnie, Raph, and Mikey, they knew. They knew his shame, his weakness. His walls had been breached, and in the shock, he had let them stay open, and had been perfectly honest in everything he said. They could plainly see the instability, the weakness, the uselessness inside of him.

Leo burned with embarrassment and shame. They weren't supposed to know. Not now, not ever.

He saw how they looked at him, heard how they weighed their words, acting like one wrong movement, one wrong word, and he would shatter like ice. He hated it, how they tiptoed around him. He knew he probably hadn't helped matters, acting like he did, but he was so confused, emotions in such turmoil. He couldn't help but be perfectly honest, letting all those walls down, dropping the effort of keeping them up. He was tired of keeping them up. Any strength he may have had that let him keep the secret was gone.

"Ugh." He moaned, and winced as Raph looked at him, close enough to have heard him. Leo shook his head softly, and Raph frowned, but said nothing.

_They knew._ They knew how weak he was. They knew he was - he couldn't even bring himself to think the word. He never could. It was a shameful, horrible word. He wanted no connection to it. But he had one anyway.

They knew. And . . . . They were taking him away from here. Donnie said that he would always help him, no matter what, and that Master would never hurt him again. Raph had said that he would never hurt him.

They didn't see him like Master did, now that they knew. They thought he was worth something, and that twisted Leo's heart. He had never thought of himself as worth anything. He was simply a weapon for his brothers to use to defend themselves. But his brothers seemed to believe he was a person, at least, that's what they said. Donnie said that he was a person, and deserved to be treated like one.

On some level, Leo knew what Donnie said was true. It wasn't right for him to be treated this way. But, he had been living like this for so long. Another, more subconscious, more basic level of Leo's mind accepted the way he was treated, and believed everything Master had told him over the years. That part of him made even the thought of opposing him and leaving him quake in his shell. He was just Kame, just a stupid little turtle who was weak and needed to be honed into a warrior; a lifeform that wasn't worth the space he inhabited. Who was he to be betraying Master?

But his brothers didn't see Kame. They saw Leonardo, and they seemed convinced that Leonardo was prepared to defy Master. The problem was, Leo didn't feel like Leonardo. Leo felt like Kame. Leonardo probably _could_ defy Master. But Kame? Kame was too weak, too cowardly. And even if he could leave, Kame would be nothing without Master to continue to train him. Kame belonged in the dojo with Master. Not in Donnie's room planning an escape.

So all in all, Leo was a jumbled mess. On one hand, he was Leonardo, who was planning to escape from Master with his brothers and knew he was doing the right thing in leaving. On the other, he was Kame, who was being pushed into a suicide mission by his teammates and was absolutely terrified and bracing himself for the inevitable failure and punishment.

Leo's frame quivered violently as he envisioned the punishment he was sure to receive for this. It would be a thousand times worse than his last one. Leo wouldn't be surprised if both his legs and both his arms were broken. He'd be locked in his room for months with only a trickle of food and water. Heck, Master may just kill him.

"Leo?" His brother's voice hit him like a slap to the face. He had forgotten about their presence in the room. That was another thing. He had started flinching even harder ever since he learned they knew. It was a subconscious reaction; he couldn't control it. This tiny, tiny little part of him was almost _expecting _his brothers to start treating him like Master did, and was reacting accordingly.

"Yeah, Raph?"

"You're shivering. Are you cold?"

Leo shook his head. Cold? Leo was far from it. He was warmer than he had been in a long time. His own room was always insanely cold, and Donnie's room was near boiling, perfect for reptiles. To Leo, who had grown up in an icebox, this room was paradise.

"Then why are you shivering? Something wrong?" Raph asked gently.

Yes. Yes there was. Leo was torn in two, torn between Kame and Leonardo. But he couldn't say that. His brothers already knew enough of his shame. They had already seen enough of the inside of the walls. It was time for Leo to build them back up.

Leo shook his head again. Raph frowned, and opened his mouth again, to no doubt press for a real answer, but Leo was saved by a knock on the door. Donnie moved from his spot on the wall and slowly opened the door a tiny crack, then opened it wide. Leo's final little brother, Mikey, slipped in.

"Mission accomplished, bros. April's on standby for us." Mikey reported as Donnie shut the door behind him. Mikey's eyes traveled to Leo and he gave a feeble grin. Leo instinctively tensed and bowed his head away. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Mikey look heartbroken, and he felt guilty.

"Good. Now we just gotta get outta here. How long til sundown, Donnie?" Raph asked.

"90 minutes. Leo should probably head out in 80." Donnie answered.

"All right."

"What do we do til then?" Mikey asked. It was a valid question. They couldn't all stay in the room for another 90 minutes. Splinter was bound to get suspicious.

"One of us could stay with Leo while the others go watch TV. You know, to project a sense of normal-ness." Donnie suggested.

"Okay, but who stays with Leo?" Mikey asked innocently. They all looked at each other, then to Leo. Leo squirmed under their gazes and burrowed deeper into the mattress. He didn't like being the object of attention. Attention had never been a good thing in his life. If he got attention, it usually meant he was about to be trained or punished. He had learned to fade and hide from searching eyes. It was one of the reasons he was so talented in stealth.

"Let Leo decide. Leo, who do you want to stay with you?" Donnie questioned.

Leo shifted. "I don't care. It doesn't matter."

"Sure? You want to be stuck with Mikey?" Raph teased, smiling to let all parties know he meant nothing by it.

Leo shifted again, his eyes darting everywhere, then slowly whispered, "Raph." He wasn't sure why he chose Raph. Maybe because he was the next oldest. Or maybe because he was already sitting next to him and Leo wouldn't be forced to flinch as one of the others took his place.

Raph nodded. "All right Leo. I'll stay. Donnie, you and Mikey go hang in the pit. Make noise. Do whatever."

"Got it."

"No problemo."

The two younger brothers left the room, then it was just Leo and Raph again, sitting side by side on the bed.

"Want to do something?" Raph asked after a long stretch of silence.

Leo shook his head, and Raph sighed. "Didn't think so." Raph leaned against the wall at the head of Donnie's bed. "But it was worth a shot."

The rest of the hour was spent in silence.

* * *

75 minutes later, Donnie poked his head inside. "It's time." He hissed. Raph nodded. Leo just stared as he stood on shaky legs.

Donnie and Raph stuck close as they ushered him through the hall and to the turnstile gate. No sign of Splinter.

"Eastman and Laird." Donnie whispered into Leo's ear. Leo barely had time to nod before he was forced through the turnstiles and was pushed towards the tunnels.

He began to run swiftly and silently, like he had been trained to. His heart began pumping at a furious pace, pounding an angry taboo against his chest. Sweat began pouring from his face in bucket loads. He was doing it. He was daring to run away from Master. He was doing the impossible, the unforgivable. He was leaving.

* * *

_SPLINTER_

"Sensei!" The shout of his eldest son was a welcome sound. The boys had been unusually quiet today. Perhaps because of Kame's sickness. If he had been contaminating his sons . . . .

"Yes, Raphael?" Splinter asked as he swooped out of the dojo and into the main room. His three sons were standing there at attention, armed for battle should it arise.

"We're headed out for patrol. We should be back in a couple of hours. Leo's resting in Donnie's room." Raph said in a monotone voice.

Splinter hid a frown. He would have thought Raphael would have been more excited to be leader on this outing. He often impressed upon his father that he believed that he should be leader; that he do a better job than Kame. Splinter quite agreed with him, but had put Kame in the position for a very good reason. Leaders were often called to play the self-sacrifice card, and Kame would be able to play it without hesitation or much impact on the team. Raphael was a protector. He would not leave anyone behind, not even Kame, worthless as he was to the family. While an admirable trait, in certain situations it could destroy all of them. Kame understood this, and understood what he should do to protect his teammates.

"Be safe, Raphael."

"Hai." Raphael bowed slightly and almost ran out of the room, his brothers right behind him.

Splinter waited patiently for one minute, and when he heard nothing to indicate his sons were going to pop back in, he sweeped determinedly down the hallway towards his middle son's room, where Kame was. Sickness was no excuse to get distracted and become lazy. He had already missed too much training.

Splinter flung open the bedroom door with no warning to Kame. The door hit the wall with a loud _bang_ and rebounded slightly as Splinter marched into the room, heading straight for the lump under the bed covers.

"Get _up,_ Kame." He hissed, throwing the covers back. What he saw made him recoil and growl in anger. Instead of Kame, under the covers lay a pile of pillows shaped like a body. Stupid little Kame was gone.

Splinter's vision clouded with red. How _dare _he leave without permission? He clearly was not sick at all, and had lied to laze about in bed all day.

Splinter's teeth gritted in a fierce scowl and his clenched fists shook in fury. That little disobedient, ungrateful brat would regret this a thousand times over. And his sons had to have known about Kame's fake illness. He would have punish them as well. It was time they knew Kame's position in this household. He was not to be allowed to slack. He could not be allowed to get away with this.

Splinter marched with furious purpose down the hallway and into the subway tunnel that connected the Lair to the sewers. He took a deep breath and smelled his sons, and, underneath that, slightly fainter, he smelled Kame.

Splinter narrowed his eyes, crouched, and took off down the tunnel on all fours. Kame would live to regret his treachery, and would wish he had not.

* * *

_LEO_

His brothers caught up to him quickly, and soon they were all running. Running away. Running away _together._ It was an unfathomable concept to Leo. Even as his feet propelled him farther and farther away from the Lair, his brain was unable to wrap itself around the magnitude of what he was doing. _He was leaving._ Leaving Master. Leaving the Lair, the dojo. His icebox, prison cell of a room. The beatings, the training, the days on end of solitude. He was leaving it all behind. His heart and stomach quivered in a excited, terrified way. This was it. This was the day his life changed. For better or for worse, that remained to be seen.

They were almost there. Leo's heart beat faster and faster as he saw the signs that they were almost at Eastman and Laird. He was so close. So close to the end of this. He could even see the ladder now.

45 yards . . . 30 yards . . . 20 yards . . . 10 yards . . . 5 . . .

Leo reached a hand out for the ladder rungs . . .

"KAME!" A terrible roar echoed through the tunnels, and Leo froze stiff, hand stuck in midair. No. No, no, no. No, he couldn't have actually -

"KAME!" The roar came again, and Leo began to shake violently. It was. It was him. He had found out after all. Of course he had, he was Master. This had been doomed from the start, and he had been foolish enough to start to hope. Now he and his brothers would pay.

His brothers . . .

Leo turned to his three brothers, who were staring in fear down the tunnel. They had never heard such anger in their Sensei's voice.

"Run!" Leo whispered, fear leaking into his voice despite his best efforts to hide it. "You have to run!"

Every one of his brothers glared at him like he was insane.

"We're not leaving you, Leo. Not now, not ever." Raph said firmly, and Donnie and Mikey nodded sternly in agreement.

"You have to! He'll hurt you if he catches you with me like this!"

"He'll hurt _you _if he gets his claws on you. We won't let that happen." Donnie folded his arms over his chest.

The sound of claws and paws padding against the ground reached Leo's eardrum, and his anxiety skyrocketed. He was getting closer.

"Run while you can! Please! Let me do my job and protect you!" Leo pleaded. That had always been his job; his entire reason for _existing. _But none of his brothers listened.

"Leo, let us protect you for once." Mikey gazed into Leo's eyes, and it was as if he knew what Leo truly meant by that comment.

"Climb the ladder, bro. We'll be right behind you." Donnie urged.

"No, you guys first."

"You're the priority. You go first." Raph ordered.

The sound of Master's approach grew louder. He was coming. He would be there soon.

Leo looked frantically at each of his brothers faces. They were all dead set in making sure he was the first one to climb up the ladder. They wouldn't make for the surface until he did. So the sooner he went topside, the sooner his brothers did. He turned around and reached out his hand, his fingers wrapping around the cool metal rung. He pulled himself up and swiftly climbed the ladder, pushing the heavy manhole cover aside and hauling himself up and out of the sewers.

True to her word, April was waiting at the surface, leaning against the side of the van. At Leo's appearance, she started to rush over, but Leo furiously shook his head and motioned for her to start the van. April bit her lip and nodded, running to the drivers side door and climbing in.

Leo stuck his head back into the tunnel and, to his relief, saw Mikey climbing the ladder. He gestured hurriedly for Mikey to speed up, and Mikey grew faster in his movements.

The minute Mikey had reached the top, Leo moved aside and let him climb up. Donnie began climbing the ladder. The van's engine roared to a start, then hummed as it idled in the alley, pointed towards the exit to the street.

At the bottom of the ladder, Raph was nervously switching his gaze between the rising Donnie and the entrance to the tunnel he stood in. Master was almost on top of him by the sound of it.

Donnie set his hands on the concrete and hauled himself up to the surface. Mikey had climbed into the back of the van, both of the back doors wide open.

Raph began climbing the ladder. Donnie made his way to the van and hopped in, securing everything inside.

Raph was halfway up the ladder, and Leo was bouncing where he kneeled with nervous tension. _Come on, come on . . . . . _

"RAPHAEL!" Leo froze and watched Raph do the same. _NO!_

_"_Sensei?" Raph's voice was hesitant and meek for the first time in his life.

Master's voice was anything but. "Where. Is. Kame?" His voice was low and dangerous, a voice Leo had heard many times as Kame. It was NEVER good.

"Kame?" Raph said, puzzled, before his voice became heavy with anger as he figured out who Kame was. "His name is _Leonardo_!" He barked, before throwing down a smoke bomb.

The egg shattered open against the ground, and purple smoke filled the tunnel. For a moment, Raph was hidden from view. Then a large green hand shot out of the purple fog. Leo grabbed it tightly, pulling Raph up the rest of the way. Sapphire orbs meet emerald, and Raph grinned.

A hand shot out of the fog, a pale five-fingered hand, and wrapped itself around Raph's ankle. Raph's eyes widened for a split second before he was pulled back into the tunnel.

"NO!" Leo shouted, tightening his already vice-like grip on Raph's hand. His eyes traveled from Raph's face to Raph's captor, and his body went ridged as he stared at Master's face, marred with a furious scowl.

"There you are, Kame." Master snarled, and Leo drew his head into his shell. "Get down here. Now."

"I - I -" Leo stuttered.

"Don't do it, Leo." Raph gasped as Master tugged hard on his leg. "Get out of here."

"N-no. I - I can't leave you." Leo whimpered.

"Leo - Ah!" Raph grunted as the two forces pulled him harder.

"Let _go_, Kame." Master hissed.

"Leo -"

Leo shut his eyes tight. Raph may have been the one being pulled between him and Master, but Leo was the one being torn. What should he do?! Keep fighting for Raph, like Leonardo would do? Or come along, submissive like Kame, and hope Master would go easy on his brothers?

"Leo." Raph said again, his voice strained. Leo opened his eyes and saw Splinter had gotten a grip on the side rim of Raph's shell. Raph grew heavier on his arm. Leo couldn't hold on much longer.

"I do not wish to harm my son, Kame, but if you do not let go, I will." Master threatened. Leo's breath caught in his throat, and he felt something stir in his chest. Something that felt like anger, and strength. Something like Leonardo.

"No." He breathed.

"What was that, Kame?" Master snapped.

"No." Leo said louder. "You will not hurt Raphael. My job is to protect my brother's from harm. And that includes _you._" Leo drew a shuriken from his wrist wraps, and with a flick of his wrist through the star directly at his master's face. With both hands on Raph, Splinter was unable to protect himself from the throwing star that embedded itself in his eye.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Master howled in agony, both hands slipping free of Raph and moving to the piece of metal in his eye. With nothing to hold onto any longer, he fell 5 ft onto the concrete floor of the tunnel.

The weight of Raph suddenly diminished, and Leo pulled him out of the tunnel, Raph's hand scrambling to find something solid to hold onto. Leo placed his other hand around Raph's, and pulled him to the van where Donnie and Mikey had been waiting, frozen in place with shock and horror. Raph leaped into the van first. Leo was right on his heels, and as he jumped in, Mikey and Donnie closed the doors, locking them with a loud thud.

"Drive!" Leo shouted at the top of his lungs, panic filling his voice as his actions began to leak into his brain.

April floored it, and turtles went flying with the sudden acceleration. Then April turned, and they were tossed around again. But they regained their balance as the van's speed becomes steady.

Leo scooted into the corner of the upper-left side of the van. A defense mechanism of his. No one could sneak up on him if his back was to a wall.

He crunches up into a tight ball. Oh God. He just - he just _attacked_ his Master. He was running away from Master. Oh God. What had he done?

He couldn't help it. He began to cry.

It felt like an eternity before an arm wrapped around his shoulders. Through his blurry vision, he saw Raph sitting beside him. Another hand rested on his knee. Donnie. A final hand laid very gently on his forearm. Mikey. He looked up front, and saw April giving concerned glances at his image in her mirror.

He curled up even tighter, trying to disappear into himself, and cried even harder. Leonardo was gone again. He was Leo again. Scared little Leo. And Leo was heading into the unknown. Away from Master, and to . . . What?

_Freedom, _a voice inside him whispered, before vanishing like mist.

**Guess what? I entered a writing contest at my library, and I WON! I'm beyond thrilled!**

**Okay, you hopefully know what to do. PLEASE review! I'd appreciate it so much!**

**Have a great day/night!**

**-Katana/Blue (you can call me either)**


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